How can he be alright but I’m a mess still

[Lookingforsupportpl]

,

My ex was a narcissist, he was very emotional mental and psychologically abusing

I had been with him for over 24 years, I don’t know anything else

All I endured daily was Normal to me, and now that the abuse is not there, the silence is deafening, there is almost no noise

I’m really not adjusting well to being by myself, well

I’ve never done it until recently, my brain won’t let me shut down no matter what is that I may be trying to do, it’s horrible,

Almost every single memory I have whether it be good, bad or Tormenting has him in it,

He seems to be moving on and doing just fine,

With my heartbreak, which logic and everything In My brain, tells me he’s not a good person and I shouldn’t love him still, it got so bad at times

But the fact is I do,

what the hell is wrong with me,

I still love him, and I just shouldn’t,

I think about him all the time too, which is so shitty, it hurts,

The heart is broken

on top of all the anxiety

Lack of sleep, it is taking its toll,

Loneliness is setting in so very hard,

I don’t know how to really get on track, at all,

Not sure how to even attempt to meet anyone, In general, a friend,

I was very closed off, I don’t really have any friends, it wasn’t really allowed

my existence is depressing

Im dwindling in a dark place,

Please help

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry,

I think about my ex all the time and she knows that. In my case I was unable to get her to speak to me when things got rough.

You did the right thing by giving up on him.

I gave up on her after 2 months of her acting this way. I knew she would Always be this way. I’m so glad I didn’t marry her.

Chris

[PassionateWoman in reply to Hidden]

how does a narricist show their disorder when your getting to know them?