i hate it here

[netflix101]

um.. i don't what to say. my dad doesn't understand that i'm depressed and have anxiety. i haven't been diagnosed because he won't take me. my grades are bad i'm stressed no one understands me in my household. i literally tried to kill myself a couple of weeks ago and he still hasn't gotten me help... i don't know what to do anymore. i just wanna go away and be free. By the way i'm new.

[newmercies]

Hi there, Im so sorry to hear what you’re going through. That sounds really tough. I hope you find encouragement and support through this community.

Is there someone else in your life you can reach out to?

[netflix101 in reply to newmercies]

My moms a narcissist so she won't care plus i'm under my dad's custody so she can't really help me. I have friends but they have their own problems i don't want to dump all my issues on them. I just feel so alone IN EVERYTHING I FREAKING DO. I'm just tired of living.

[newmercies in reply to netflix101]

Im so sorry you’re feeling this way. I would encourage you to open up to your friends; Im sure that if they are good friends they will be understanding and supportive.

I know that struggling with anxiety and depression can make you feel alone. I felt alone for a while. Know that you are not alone. There are many people facing similar struggles.

Please feel free to message me if you’d like to talk more.

[Wepa357 in reply to netflix101]

Your not alone. I feel the same definitely helps to think positive and keep talking with friends

[PastelPink20]

Hello Netflix101!!!!! It is so nice to meet you. Welcome!

You said your grades are bad - I get that. Me too. It’s impossible to care about grades when you’re depressed. I want to drop out; I’m holding on for now.

Do you have a teacher or a school nurse or school counselor you could reach out to?

It’s clear that your family lacks the ability to offer you the support you need at this moment (perhaps later or under different circumstances). Being in an environment where you are misunderstood and can’t relax and can’t be yourself or vulnerable - means you can’t easily receive comfort, help, and feel safe to process what you’re going through. The difference is immeasurable.

You can talk to your friends... but yeah, depression doesn’t just go away and you don’t want to be a burden. I found therapy to be very helpful or even my school counselor (like the advisor who helps you figure out what school to go to next).

Thank you for reaching out! I know it feels like you might be at your wits end and this is like a last resort or something... but this is big! It can be a challenge to ask for help. We understand.

You’re not alone. Your problems have solutions, even if they don’t appear to from where you’re standing. It is even harder to have perspective when you’re at the age where you still have to submit to your parent’s authority.

Your education establishment should have measures in place to provide support to student’s in need. You have to pursue them. I know that seems so far away, but have you tried that? To be able to confide in an adult who can get your access to resources (a mandated reporter) could be helpful.

Mental health disorders are health conditions! That need treatment! That are valid! That are even considered a disability!

You matter! Your friends are glad they’re friends with you!

Sometimes parents love in the only way they know how and it isn’t how we need.

I hope some of this made sense and wasn’t just rambling!

[netflix101 in reply to PastelPink20]

thank you for that ! i just emailed my guidance counseler to see if he could get me some help. i just hope he doesn't tell my dad.

[PastelPink20 in reply to netflix101]

You’re welcome!!!!! I hope it does lead to you getting connected to some resources, even if it s just limited to at your school.

Maybe you’ll be able to set up an appointment and talk to you guidance counselor in person? (After they read your email?) Then, you could explain the situation or talk more freely and be heard.

I would hope that would be the next step! Before intervening to your parent.

Great job reaching out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is fantastic news. Please keep us updated! We want to support you!

[netflix101 in reply to PastelPink20]

my guidance counselor told my dad.... my dads getting some type of counselor but he said something along the lines of a group meeting with me and my parents with the therapist to assess me.

[newmercies in reply to netflix101]

Thats good to hear. I hope you find meeting with the counselor helpful.

[netflix101 in reply to newmercies]

hopefully

[PastelPink20 in reply to netflix101]

Still I have to say: congrats to you on making these steps. You’re doing what you need to be taken care of - and that is not easy.

Having a counselor or a therapist can be so beneficial - it gives you an opportunity to talk freely and to learn. To address the negative self talk, to learn coping mechanisms, to receive cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) or other types, to become more self aware, to recognize cognitive distortions and overall, eventually hopeful. It can be hard work. I hope it gives you the support you need and deserve!

So! The meeting sounds pretty daunting! I know I wouldn’t necessarily be looking forward to that.

I am going to be honest: my first therapy sessions with my mom and me always went awful. I don’t know. I guess, the tension in the room or hearing her answers bothered me.

It’s much better alone. But, it is an essential first step. (The whole “why are you here” and “what do you want to accomplish” thing are important.

Basically, they should have a confidentiality form and consent to treat that you/your parents will sign on your behalf. They might have you fill out a standard form that is asking about your symptoms - one question like “sleeping too much or too little” and the answers are 1-10 or 2 days, 5 days, or 7 days a week. Then, they will make a treatment plan - so the goal could be something like reduce the depression or whatever.

Also. You could then get a diagnosis. What mental health disorder do you have?

The diagnosis can be beneficial (labels can be hurtful but in this case...). It could be possible to get an IEP or 504 plan with your school - that says “hey, they need more support and resources because of their disorder.”

Those are just a few thoughts from me and my experiences! I am wishing you all the best!! Glad your guidance counselor was able to act as a liaison. Let us know how your first appointment goes!

[netflix101 in reply to PastelPink20]

i will!

[rs8877]

Sounds like your still young friend, dont get angry for little things he obviously cares if he didn’t he would just let you fail out he just doesnt want you heading down a bad road. You have so much to look forward to keep fighting through and one day when you’re older you’re going to look back and understand

[Shivedita]

Hey netflix101!

Well I have got so many bad grades in my school and college and yes grades matter but not to the point of getting stressed, they hold very little relevance to what we do in our life, so just learn from the mistakes and see where you can improve.

Our homes are hard sometimes and it often happens that we feel that our family members do not understand us. If your father is not understanding your issue and you think, you need help. I am sure the place that you live in have facilities for supporting kids and youth, so you can ask for help there.

Don't even think about killing yourself, this life is precious dost. You will get through it!

Unaware of your issues with father and your family but I hope you find out the ways to settle it soon.