Abusive parent

Can you call a parent abusive if they're nice to you one minute then nasty the next? My mum has been like this with me and my siblings our whole lives. She didn't have a great childhood but she certainly didn't give us one either. What can you do to protect yourself from a parent like that? I don't live on my own yet and find it hard to detach because deep down I'm always looking for the love I never felt.

[Hidden]

Yes a parent can be abusive even if at times they are nice to you. What does your mum do that is abusive? Set boundaries between both of you and maybe try to learn to love and nurture yourself the way your mum didn’t.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm working on learning to love and nurture myself, but with her still around its hard. Basically she constantly guilt trips me and makes everything my fault. She does this to all of my siblings. As a child she used guilt and fear to control us and she still does to this day. She doesn't listen to anything we say and she loves to gaslight me about depression. Basically she's all around toxic. There are times where we have a good laugh but it doesn't even begin to outweigh the rest.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Hidden]

My mom does the same thing. It’s so hard

[Hidden]

Yes, in my opinion it is the Ultimate abuse to be Nice to you one second, then Horrible to you the next.

Catman22

👸

[Pel3749]

Hi, maybe your mother needs someone to talk to. Can you talk to a therapist or a clergy person that might talk to her and you? Maybe she doesn’t know how to show love. Stay close to your siblings and good friends . God Bless you and keep us posted.

[Hidden in reply to Pel3749]

Hi, I've tried to convince my mum to talk to someone but she never has. In the meantime my siblings and I are very close so we support each other. Thanks for your answer 😊