Melancholy

[Bella_m]

It’s been a long while since I’ve come on here, or been in therapy. The lockdown has affected us all in negative ways, some worse than others (but obviously all problems are valid) and from honest, I was doing quite well. Thought things were getting better for me mentally and I didn’t need any help. Thought I was “cured”. As the year has gone by, I’m completely aware of the effect not having therapy has had on me; they aren’t all bad. I have learnt to manage myself in ways, to keep going, and I have become frightfully stoic. But from honest, my mental health is spiralling downwards, and downwards and downwards. Depression is not something I could escape from unscathed by a while in therapy. I thought I was healing... but I wasn’t. That wasn’t true healing— I wasn’t healed, I was pretending to be in an effort to make it all go away. But depression is my childhood friend I’ve known since I could speak, a shadow— it’s rooted down to the marrow of my bones. I’m only hoping that lockdown will end and I can see my psychiatrist once again. I’m just begging to get back into treatment. Healing is not easy, but it’s possible. We all can heal.

[Agora1]

Bella, never let go of the belief in that healing is possible.

Anything we want in life is never easy to attain but so worth the effort.

Any possibility your psychiatrist would do phone consults? Mine has been

doing that this year because of his wife having gotten Covid19.

Don't forget we are here 24/7. Just a message away xx