My depression has been in turbo mode the past couple days and I can barely find any relief, even as I try to lie down and take a nap or something. It feels like it never lets up and it takes everything I can to convince myself that dying isn't worth it. My psych (who's really cool and empathetic btw) told me that a lot of people's fantasies about death are presupposed on their conceptions of it, something I had never really thought about before (mine is just kinda floating in a black void, feeling nothing). It never occurred to me that dying might actually be worse than living purely in the sense that nobody's able to come back and tell you what it's like. I guess it's a kind of agnostic point of view that we both share as fellow believers in that.
In any case, what are some good short-term coping strategies when depression starts gripping you real tight? I structure my day as much as I can and try to get exercise, eat more regularly, do quick SFD journals if anyone here is familiar with that if I really desperately need to exorcise how I feel. Any advice is welcome and appreciated. Many thanks.
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I feel your pain. I am in a relapse of depression with anxiety, which is horrible. The days are SO long, so I, too, schedule my day to break it up. I force myself to eat, and take one hour to try to meditate. Do you have anytime during your waking hours that you feel any change? I feel slightly better in the late evening. How are you sleeping? I take Xanax to sleep, then start all over the next day. I have been like this for 4 months, and live alone. You are not alone. I totally understand your suffering.
My sleep hygiene isn't the best, but I've been consistently waking up no later than 9 am for the past couple months, which is a huge win. I take forever to fall asleep (no doubt because I use my damn phone too much), but there's at least some consistency with it. No medications or supplements, though melatonin gummies have worked decently in the past.
Meditation is super mentally exhausting for me in terms of blocking out thoughts and letting things pass by, so I've been doing 5 minute stints on the days where I can steel myself enough to do it. Makes me wonder if I need a higher Vyvanse dose or something; I'm on 30mg right now and people can apparently go way higher if necessary. Not about to self-medicate, though. Exercise also helps a bit in the moment (getting sweaty is satisfying to me), but depression-induced dysfunction makes it really hard to do that, which makes depression worse, which... well, you know. It's just a matter of trudging my way through it, which sucks when literally every action I can possibly take feels the same way. There's no color or passion or mystery in anything, like everything's kinda washing over me and I can't take it in or feel anything except ambient misery.
I don't really move around enough to need to eat that much, but could probably do to break it up more into regular meals than just eating whenever. I have some basics, like not eating right before bed and not waiting too long to eat so as to not get ravenous, but meals are kinda nebulous for me. It's not a matter of over or under-eating, or body image issues, more like a frontal lobe-type of pre-planning issue.
I actually feel a little bit better in the mornings right when Vyvanse kicks in and worse throughout the day, generally. In the middle of a normal mood cycle for me it's about one week to go from peak to peak or trough to trough (seriously think I have some kind of bipolar-adjacent thing and not depression, and have made this clear to my psych and therapist); this last depressive episode has been unusually long and severe for me, though, at about 4-5 days of pretty much toilet mood. I generally don't really have control over my mood as opposed to the cycle pretty much dictating whether I'm allowed to enjoy things or not. It really sucks when I can't build up the energy to do stuff I know I enjoy and it's really hard not to blame myself for it (and this is extremely basic stuff like watching a movie or playing a video game).
I also try to divert myself by watching H&G tv( nothing with anything upsetting), sometimes I can read, but not when I am extremely anxious. Maybe play hearts on my phone, or chat with a friend. When I’m miserable, I try to walk a little, or practice deep breathing. Last ditch effort is just allow yourself to cry. I really don’t know what else to do. I have been in this rut for 4 mos. We have to take one day at a time, and do not give up.😍
Hello, so sorry you are suffering, you sound like you are making an attempt to take care of yourself, that is great, can you add some exercise, it creates endorphins in the brain, a natural mood elevator. I love Xanax but would only take them for anxiety, I take Trazadone to sleep 100 mg I get a good sleep, it is also good for depression. Yes I have gone thru the feeling better in late afternoon, only to wake up depressed again. When I was really bad last year, my Dr. gave me Lorazapam for anxiety, it is great and works fast, I was on it for several months, now I do not need it. I take Cymbalta 50 mg a day and am free of depression/anxiety, I have a Wonderful Therapist who has helped me So much. I think I know the hell you are going thru, please get help, like you I live alone, I have a Wonderful Therapist who helps me So much. Write to us, we offer, help, support and love, I send you peace, strength, more love and big Virtual Hugs.....
I have been on maintenance dose of effexor 75 mg. for many years,4 months ago,spiraled down into another incident. My doc increased me up to 150, but no change so far. Nobody will give me Xanax for anxiety, so I just must power thru it. I finally get to speak to another phychiatrist in 2 weeks. Will there ever be an end to this?
Yes I know how hellish it is to be clinically depressed w/anxiety. I tried to kill myself twice, the body is not easy to kill. I promised myself after my last attempt at 46, "Suicide is not an option". I have kept that promise to myself, and suffered the indignity of 4 stays in the hospital, only one was helpful!!! I have been on antidepressants for decades, had a problem, built up a tolerance to the med's and took another nose dive, til we found one that would work. I am now on Cymbalta 50 mg a day, it has cleared up the confusion in my brain, and I have a Wonderful therapist who helps me So much. If you have felt guilty about your illness as I have, one of the first things she said to me was "It's Not Your Fault, you have an illness and need to be treated for such". I recommend antidepressants, I cannot function without them, I know as I have tried, and paid the price for it. Please do not suffer needlessly, you need help, you are doing a lot to help yourself, eating properly, exercise, journalling is great, I have a mountain of books I have written, I will burn them all one day. I am 78 now and plan to live another 10 years, there is longevity in my family. Please, please search out help, write to us here we will try to help you, we offer support and love. I wish you well, a fellow sufferer, sending peace, strength, love and big virtual hugs.......
Forgot to mention I'm on lexapro 15 mg (being weaned off it over the next two weeks in favor of some undecided one, though) for depression and vyvanse 30 mg for ADHD-like stuff (long story short, took way too long to get tested)
Hi- I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you will find the help you need to stay strong.
I have a sister who was diagnosed with anxiety and she refused treatments. She used to be a happy and jolly person and then she became sad because of anxiety. It was hard for me to see her suffering.
Me and my other sisters are her support group. I send her messages almost every day to let her know that she’s not alone. She also has a life group that she meets once a week online and it’s been helping her a lot. It made her less lonely.
She is now getting back to her old self.
She volunteers, has pets and does gardening. Taking care of her pets and plants distract her from being anxious.
You are not alone, we are here for you. Please stay strong. Feel free to share anytime about anything. Online support groups like this can help you to feel less lonely. Continue your exercise. Walk outdoors especially with sunlight, it helps to uplift someone’s mood. Praying for you for peace and strength. Please keep us posted. We care for you.
I don't know if it's an option right now but naturopath doctors can be helpful as well as alternative therapies. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what would be good for others but I take vitamin D and try to get outside everyday to ground. That's pretty easy. I talk to a warmline locally often when I am lonely. I started juicing celery juice and cucumber juice and anything else I can. I started taking online classes in subjects that are supposed to be good for my personality type. I did a lot of research on meyers Briggs personality types. That's all I can think of. Hope it helps. It's what has helped me.
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Thinking about really hurting myself.
Really can't be bothered 
How do you get to relief? What is relief for you?
It hurts
