Hello. I just recently joined this and honestly I feel so debilitated. It might be stupid but I've been through several relationships throughout the past years and they made me realize how much my happiness depends on being with someone else. I'm tired of not being content on my own.
Which brings me here. How does one be content on their own without the need for romantic love and approval from someone else but ourselves?
Welcome to the community. I also sometimes feel the way you do. I feel like being close to someone but it hurts terribly when it happens. So I normally engage myself in activities I like doing. I also write my thoughts down to reduce the burden on my chest. Maybe you should try it.
Hi
Welcome to the community.
Love can be a very subjective experience. Everybody wants it and yet only a handful of people take the efforts to commit to their relationship.
Often times, when we seek validation from the outside world, only those who are in your close contact will vouch for you.
We want people to praise us, love us, comfort us and be with us during difficult times. That's the reason, our happiness depends on someone else.
Of course, nothing can beat romance. However, all of us have something to achieve in our life. When we achieve that thing, it brings a sense of victory and calmness. That itself is very addictive!
Some people get tremendous excitement when they play with their pets. For sure, humans are not the only ones capable of love! Some work day and night in NGO, charity and foundations without any monetary benefit. Why? Because they derive a sense of contentment and that's what they want to do.
Similarly, you must assure yourself that you can have anything you want, anytime, anywhere. You are free to talk and post in this community. Connect, interact, chat, help others and maybe that will be the road towards being content on your own.
Thanks for your helpful words. I think joining this community was a good idea and i look forward to the potential to connect and interact with others who feel as I do
Hi Dot, thanks for posting this. When i joined this community I had just ended a relationship and was really heartbroken. The person I dated got married really quickly after we broke up which made it even harder.
I'm quite a bit older than you (I'm in my late 30s) but have never married and have had a ton of relationships, all with the wrong guys. Over the years I've think one of the most important lessons I've learned is that you are the most important person in the world to love, not anyone else. I've also learned that I'm a people pleaser and wanting the other person to love me seemed more important than anything else...which is so dumb.
At your age being on your own hurt worse and it's such a hard age! The things that helped me were finding something, anything positive about myself that I could learn or that brought me joy. Journaling also really helped me a lot and also reading others experiences, taking personality tests helped be to know myself more and my worth regardless if I am with someone or not. I don't think the desire to be with someone else ever goes away but you can learn to enjoy being on your own. Much love.
Thanks for the support!
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