Living in the past

[dreamergirl99]

Hello everyone, for almost 8 months I am experiencing stress and anxiety all the time because I think of the past, I can’t focus on the future...how are you getting over this and over the person who is no longer in your life ?

[Hidden]

Hi🙋‍♀️ and welcome! This is a very supportive community, so I hope you are able to find the support you need!

I tend to live everywhere but the present. Mindfulness is a useful skill to learn for this. Yoga is also good. You could try and distract yourself with things going on in your life now.

[dreamergirl99 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you a lot for your reply. I am fine for a day or two and then again I feel the same. I just can’t accept some things. Can’t give up and can’t move on. Can’t forgive myself...

[starting_again in reply to dreamergirl99]

I know how that feels. Words like this don't always do much. But sometimes I find doing something with other people, creating new memories and new experiences can help focus your mind and give you distance from the past instead of it feeling like its still right there behind you.

[dreamergirl99 in reply to starting_again]

Yes, but making new friends and meeting new people during the pandemic is almost impossible.

[starting_again in reply to dreamergirl99]

Well I'm here to talk and listen if you'd like to make one.

[Hidden in reply to dreamergirl99]

You're welcome😊

Yep, I hear you loud and clear. I'm sorry it's hard. Can I ask if you have a therapist?

[dreamergirl99 in reply to Hidden]

No, I don’t have a therapist, I thought I can handle it, I came to live with my family, that made me feel better but again when I need to focus on my life I stalk someone else’s life and wonder what he does and I see everyone is focusing on their future only me living in the past and suffering every day and having physical pain.

[dreamergirl99]

Accepting that something is gone is very hard. I thought it will last forever, put so much effort and hope but everything was temporary...

[HD1960]

Hello I have something similar and severe anxiety.

I did get Psychologist and it helped a lot.

Exercise, call people daily. To do list on a board. Make a list of things you are grateful for 5 a day and why. I.e. the stars, the trees your house +++. It doesn’t matter.

Things you did like helping neighbors, write them down.

Mike.

[dreamergirl99 in reply to HD1960]

Thanks Mike, I will try to do things that you wrote. I feel much better when I share my problem but need to learn to be happy even when I keep problems only for me...

[HD1960 in reply to dreamergirl99]

Ok great it will help.

I had been taking Xanax for 30+ years for anxiety and it’s been 13 months without out it. Holy moly, it has been the a living hell to put it bluntly. I’m getting better but not great. My brain does not want to let go and anxiety is crippling.

I have no other choice but to never give up.🙏🇺🇸

Hope you have a great day!

Mike

[dreamergirl99 in reply to HD1960]

Carpe diem Mike, everything will be great, never lose hope. For me, this 2020 from the beginning briought me illness and pain and anxiety and I am still 21...I see people my age worry about different usual things and me always scared for my health and still caring about things that are over...

[HD1960 in reply to dreamergirl99]

🙏🙏Thank you.