How to stop living the past and overcome triggers. Please can anyone help

[glasshalfful]

Hi Everyone, I feel I am loosing the plot. I have so called friends that do and often say they love me and are there for me. Then hey ho, nothing since this virus outbreak. Plus only get a response if I contact them and at the end of the day I am the one suffering with PSTD and Anxiety, not any of them.

[hopeful09]

Hi, I'm so sorry your "friends" are treating you this way. It's not right, and you have reason to be upset. Your feelings are totally valid. I would feel the same in your shoes. But, since I'm on the outside looking in, I can ask you what your messages usually consist of to them? Speaking from past experience, it can be draining to be constantly receiving messages from someone that are gloomy, depressing, etc. They may need to step away for their own mental health, in order to keep themselves sane and so they don't explode at you. In other words, don't be afraid to reach out when you need help, but understand that it can be taxing to be constantly taking care of someone else. Sometimes, you need to take care of you. Remember that they are your friends, not your keeper. Dealing with depression and PTSD on the daily takes professional training and setting boundaries, and even the best therapists sometimes have therapists of their own. Don't be afraid to seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with going to therapy; in fact, it is my belief that everyone should go at some point in their life. Wishing you the best.

[glasshalfful in reply to hopeful09]

Thanks for your reply and take on board everything you have said. However, before this out break I was doing very well in my health and well-being. Then it was like an overnight thing that happened and I started experiencing bulling and controlling behaviour from so called friends. So now I feel very much alone, though trying to be positive to the view of evaluating my friends at this difficult time.

[hopeful09 in reply to glasshalfful]

Feeling alone is one of the worst emotions. It's something I often struggle with. Whenever I start to feel overly lonely, like almost uncontrollably lonely, I'm reminded of this quote: "loneliness is a sign that you are in desperate need of yourself." Maybe this can help you too? Whenever you are feeling lonely, instead do something that makes you happy and would make your friends jealous! I will set up a bath with candles and soft music, or cook an exquisite meal -- just for me! Then, the dialogue in my head changes from "They don't want to hang out with me cause I'm such a loser" to "It sucks to be them! They are missing out." You have a lot to offer even if you don't think so. Take care of yourself. People often try to beat down or control things and other people that make them uncomfortable and insecure in their own lives. If they feel threatened by you, then that is their problem, not yours. Their behavior is their burden to carry, not yours.

[glasshalfful in reply to hopeful09]

Thanks so much for your feed back. Today I actually made it to the supermarket and back so bought myself a bottle of wine. Just had a lovely bubble bath in candle light and nice music, daydreaming of my nice future. Funny enough I did often think that these people weren’t happy and were toxic. Thank You, and now I have plenty time to change it because of the lock down. Stay Safe 🥰X

[hopeful09 in reply to glasshalfful]

I'm so happy to hear that! Take care of yourself; reach out if you ever need anything.

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I relate. Love your attitude btw.

[steven14]

Focus on you life and needs so called friends are not friends if they are not there for you I went through a very tough time with my anxiety in fact most o my life but I have turned a corner and I now control my anxiety not it controlling me stay positive

[glasshalfful in reply to steven14]

Thanks I’ll try😊