Pushing a time bomb into a corner

[Hblue]

I was diagnosed with anxiety so long ago that it is just part of my life. And then due to a traumatic event in 2006, I was diagnosed with PTSD. But after the years of therapy and doctors playing my brain with medication ..i still jump back into a state of pure terror that leads me a very scary level of aggression. I am a petite female but in these states I have attacked very large men, hurt them and not remembered. My current partner thinks this is amusing and has even made jokes to friends about my "homicidal" tendencies. As if a flash back that causes a panic attack, followed by me acting Iike a complete psyco attacking huge men with no restraint..is funny. And now with all the jokes (which I find completely embarrassing and horrible) have left me in such a state that I find it impossible to even leave the house. I moved back to hometown 4 years ago for quite and peace but it has turned into a living hell. The doctors in this Christian science area have me on the incorrect medications and every evening I feel completely hopeless. I am so scared I am going to seriously hurt someone or worse and not remember. I can not get my doctors to understand bc my partner has even went so far as to make light and even had my doctor laughing at my condition. Please help...any advice would be so appreciated

[HelpingElbow]

Hi

Someone who has or had PTSD should take proper medications to prevent a relapse. You cannot be on incorrect medications.

Kindly request your partner to show a little more sensitivity towards your situation...and probably not make a joke out of it.

If it helps, feel free to post in this community. Believe me, you're not alone and you don't have to rethink your past. There's nothing wrong with you and you're perfect.