I just feel so unexcited by my life. I wish I actually felt fun or joy or moments where it seems worthwhile. I just don’t love the idea that I’m miserable all the time. It seems so hard to shelf and put on the back burner the things I’m upset about just because I know nothing will get better in the immediate future.
Maybe I’m just impatient..
I just feel so dull and lifeless, sucking all the air from the room until the environment altogether is toxic. I wish I knew what to do or try to get that feeling of “I am so fucking weird” out of my head. I just don’t know what to do that’ll actually motivate me to care about what I’m doing.
To top it all of I am so uncomfortable by everything. I just feel like such an off person, I wish I felt like I belonged anywhere.
Even with art, which I loveeeeee, I know it is a love rooted in loneliness. Not even people I know who are creative to begin with will give me the time of day. It’s just so weird how invisible I feel when I interact with people. Haven’t left the house in months absolutely freaked out over how self serving everyone seems to be. I don’t think anyone notices either, not like they should. But I feel too bitter. Haven’t hungout with anyone all year or talked to a friend on the phone in several. I feel I will regret my life.
Written by
1428SRTYBK
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
5 Replies
•
That sounds really painful. If I’m being honest, I’ve been there, and I still feel I am too. I have things in my head about myself that I want to get out too. You are not alone.
I’m really sorry about feeling uncomfortable with everything, and not finding joy in anything. I really empathize with that, and you are showing a lot of strength and courage to say and admit it. Your courage and self-awareness are good things, don’t diminish them.
Patience is a really hard thing. It’s okay to struggle with it. I do too. And yeah, the hard stuff you go through can definitely make you feel like a total outsider. That’s what the pain does, and that’s what it wants to do. It wants to make you lonely and lie to you about what you are. But that’s what it is. It’s a lie.
The truth is, you are never alone. Ever. Even if people make you feel invisible, please remember that you are made uniquely and wonderfully, and that you matter more than you know.
I love art too! I’ve been drawing basically since I was born. I’m totally down to talk about it whenever.
I can tell things are hard and you’re going through and fighting a lot. I just want to remind you that you matter. What you’re going through will have an end result, and you will be better than you are now, and you will find and get everything you need one day. Take life day by day. Invest in yourself, your rest, and your passions. The pain will be healed. Never lose hope.
Jesus loves you. So do we here on this site, who face things just like you. God bless.
Very sweet and kind words. It is extremely appreciated and considerate! Reading it really made me feel better and listened to and I very rarely if ever feel that way. Thank you❤️
Art is good for those with mental health issues including depression. You can find art books online that are fairly cheap. YouTube has art videos too. Studies have proven art does help. Find out if a local community mental health support group offers art therapy or not. If there is a art store within walking distance, go in and have a look at the range of art supplies on display. Art is therapeutic. You may even enjoy it. Plus it is a great way to meet new people.
You are not alone either. What about seeing a qualified therapist? I get it, it is definitely hard. Practice self care and be kind to yourself as well. You can do this.
I was going to say I actually live up a canyon so nothing is walking distance lol, a lot of my supplies I get online since I have a gnat for what I like, but it does eliminate seeing anything new or trying new things so eventually going to an art store again would be nice!
Also I have a therapist, sometimes an hour a week just isn’t enough tbh, and paying any more I think would be criminal. So I feel like idk what to try or do.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.