a little about me: Hey everyone. I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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a little about me

jessi62399 profile image
18 Replies

Hey everyone. I decided to reach out for help from people who actually understand what it is like living with a panic disorder. I find it hard to even leave my house anymore. I cannot control my head. I won't even be panicking and I will THINK about panicking and start panicking. I am not one that does well on meds, such as SSRI's, so I am trying many different things to manage this. I start counseling next week and I really hope it helps. I feel like I am running out of options. I feel like I am going absolutely crazy. If anyone has any advise, please let me know. Thanks in advance.

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Colorado2 profile image
Colorado2

Hello I feel you I just started some meds for my panic/anxiety I start therapy on the 25. I feel alone and like I’m going nuts. I won’t be thinking or doing anything and I become overwhelmed with scared ness and my insides shacking. I have never been or had this before. Always here to talk if u need to

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Colorado2

Haha my counseling is on the 25th as well. I am just so scared that I am not gonna be able to function and i will mess everything good up in life if that happens. I am an intern and full time college student. I just wish i could take meds but i get too paranoid about side effects and it makes my anxiety worse. but yes, i feel that. im here for you too! we're not alone here.

Colorado2 profile image
Colorado2 in reply to jessi62399

They put me on buspirone so far so good. They first gave me Xanax and it made me so tired couldn’t function. I just want to be normal but maybe this is my new normal. I am hoping the therapist I am going to see will help she specializes in anxiety so I am hoping she can help me so I don’t have to take meds. How does your panic/anxiety make u feel?

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Colorado2

as a mental health professional, i think that starting with xanax was kinda extreme of your doctor since its so habit forming. they should have started with buspirone and used benzos as a last resort. but i totally get the "new normal" thing and it is sooo hard for me to accept. i feel like my bf is gonna end up leaving me because its too much to handle... idk. but as far as how it makes me feel, ill just be sitting somewhere (mostly out in public) and ill just get this burst of intense fear and everything around me becomes terrifying. it goes from 0-10 soooo quickly. i feel like i often send myself into panic because ill think about it and i feel like that almost causes it. i also get hot/cold flashes. my panic attacks last for a long time too.

Colorado2 profile image
Colorado2 in reply to jessi62399

My first time experiencing this was last sat after 8-10 hours of not knowing what was going on I made my boyfriend take me to er and they did a full work up on me even ekg and everything was great so they gave me 2mg of larazapan to calm me down

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Colorado2

i honestly wish i just had a brain tumor/heart condition that was treatable to explain why this happens to me. not knowing is the worst because then how can you fix it?????? ugh. i tried to get my mom to take me to the hospital one night bc of a panic attack and she just explained to me what it was and i calmed down but i swear sometimes i feel like i should just check myself into a mental hospital. i feel crazy sometimes.

Colorado2 profile image
Colorado2 in reply to jessi62399

Exactly I have always been a fixer and I can’t fix this I am here to listen if u need anything

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Colorado2

Same for you!!

Colorado2 profile image
Colorado2 in reply to jessi62399

Thank you

Midwestmomma profile image
Midwestmomma

I have social anxiety, I hate leaving my house. Sometimes I'm scared if I leave I'll have a bad wreck and worry about my house being messy and not perfect if I go to hospital bc of the wreck. It's not normal, I know. But I'm happier at home. I've tried SSRIs too and they only make me like zombie. I wish I had advice to give you that could help. Just know your not alone.

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Midwestmomma

i was on lexipro and buspar and i felt too foggy and out of it and it helped my anxiety but i started feeling numb and then depressed. then i tried wellbutrin and let me just say.... bad idea. my anxiety went away for months after i got off meds and came back like it missed me lol. its so bad now and i took 1 zoloft that my doctor prescribed and i had a horrible hot flash that sent me into a panic attack so i just decided to not be on meds at all because i cant mentally handle them. its so hard. i feel for you!!!

Midwestmomma profile image
Midwestmomma in reply to jessi62399

Same I've been on wellbutrin, that made everything worse. And effoxor however it's spelled, was terrible, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think straight. Zoloft helped temporarily bc I was living with a neglectful alcoholic while pregnant. Then one day I sat there watching my newborn scream and didn't care. I snapped out of it then and quit taking the meds. Lexapro was kinda the same. I've taken librium but I hallucinated too bad. I just wish Drs would understand medicine isn't for everyone. It makes me mad. I cant take a pill to change life habits and past trauma. It all still exist.

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Midwestmomma

I’m over meds. They all have terrible side effects. It’s almost too good to be true to take a pill and everything is better. And I can’t handle anything getting worse so now I just have to deal with it. And I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk.

Midwestmomma profile image
Midwestmomma in reply to jessi62399

Thanks, I just found this site. I think venting helps. Just to know someone cares.

Midwestmomma profile image
Midwestmomma in reply to Midwestmomma

Feel free to message me anytime

jessi62399 profile image
jessi62399 in reply to Midwestmomma

Same here. It’s nice to know that we’re not alone! Feels like that a lot cause no one understands. And same for you, message me anytime.

Careyon profile image
Careyon

Praying your counseling session is successful. Praying for peace of mind and a calm spirit.

Lazy_dog_lover profile image
Lazy_dog_lover

It sounds like you are trapped in the "Don't think about a banana" cycle. And I bet you just thought about a banana.

I know this may sound weird, but I work with dogs part time. I watch a lot of training videos. Separation anxiety is increased when the owner makes a big deal about the routine of leaving. Special toys or treats. Baby talk. Kisses and hugs.

It ramps up the dog and then they disappear.

The answer for most was to change the routine and desensitize the dog.

They altered times. They would grab keys (normal leaving sound) and go outside for 1 minute and return. Increase to 2-3 and return. Increase, etc.

My point is, that you are ramping up your fears, which causes more fears. Try short trips. Go to the mailbox or the corner, and then return. Reward yourself with a favorite song. Try extending it as a challenge. It takes a while to change a habit.

Therapy will help. Ask them to challenge you. I got really good at talking in circles and not about my fears. It is a safe place. Good luck. Peace.

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