Does normal exist?

[Grady80]

I’ve been thinking that normal is not so “normal”. Actually, I think it’s partially the reason I’ve been depressed for so long. According, to society and the things I was told was normal, that’s a goal I have not been able to attain. In 38 years, I still can’t figure out how to be normal. Who decided what’s normal? I thought maybe I could just learn from life’s experience how to be my best self instead of what society say this normal is. The word “normal” gives me anxiety, why does it have to be so hard to be if that’s the way it should be?

[Joseph43]

Hi.

I really agree with you. Many people who are labeled by society as normal are mean people who are insensitive to other people's plight.

The new normal in the world is to be blind to all the bad things that are happening around you.

That's depressing!

[Grady80 in reply to Joseph43]

It is depressing, but I’ll be my best self because I don’t want to be that kind of normal.

[Freedom57]

Normal is subjective & means different things to everyone

Take the word clean when we use that word it means something different also depending on each persons definition of clean

I don’t think it’s even possible to achieve a normal life it’s like a mirage which makes sense it gives you anxiety thinking about it. You’ll never achieve it just like perfection

I love what you shared

You thought you could learn from life’s experience & become your best self...Now that sounds very attainable

Good luck on your healing journey🌻

[Grady80 in reply to Freedom57]

So many people have been told they are not normal, and we end up sad, our self esteem takes a beating, and sometimes suicidal because we’ve been given someone else’s definition of what normal is

[zonarosso]

The concept of 'normal' is a societal construct. Your family, your school, your friends, your church, etc. The challenge is to be your normal and somehow fit in to all the other normals. I've always noticed that outside of my house, I had to be someone else to fit into a person or groups normal. It's exhausting, but as I have aged (I'm 63) I realized that most of those people or groups did not give me positive/ recharging energy. It was then I found out about introverts/extroverts and how they function. Extroverts need external energy to recharge (people). Introverts need internal energy to recharge (rest, meditation,quiet days at home). I am an introvert/empath. I desperately need alone time to feel grounded and energetic. Since introverts are about 20% of people in American society that leaves me with few choices for people who are similar to me. It is very rare to find a person I 'click' with. I have very few real friends (like two!) and I am finally OK with that. I really like being alone doing exactly what my heart and soul need at the time. I gave myself permission to not be someone else's definition of 'normal'. Be you- you might be surprised at how many around you will appreciate and admire you just being you. Namaste

[Grady80 in reply to zonarosso]

Me too, I’m also an introvert/empath. And I’ve become kinda picky about who I’d spend my energy on. I like being both, I love the fact that I can have empathy for others and I don’t cloud my head with the negative judgements. I can look at most situations and have compassion. I work with people that have disabilities and I love it. Not because they have disabilities but for the most part I can be me. They’re kind, and so beautiful inside and out. My normal is being perfectly imperfect. Thanks for your response! It’s nice to hear from other empaths

[Hidden]

That's a great philosophical question. I believe we are all unique. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "normal." When I was young, I believed all of that; it's thrown down your throat. I felt there was nobody like me. I didn't measure up. When I got into the "real" world, I would go to New York City just to be around different people. I was lucky that I could travel and found cultures very different than mine. I found freedom in knowing all my very different friends from all different cultures and orientations.

[Grady80 in reply to Hidden]

That’s why I choose areas that are diverse. I’m not comfortable otherwise.

[Hidden in reply to Grady80]

Also, I am an empath/introvert/extrovert. At times I need to be alone, but I also love to go out. I traveled in parts of the world. I don't like following the crowd and enjoy interesting people. Instead of using the word " normal," I use the word "typical." My niece has severe learning and social delays and she is not "typical," but she is perfect. How boring the world would be if we were all the same. She excels in art. I can't draw a stick figure. Also, I think of people who weren't so typical, like inventors or artists who did amazing things. Great question!

[Grady80 in reply to Hidden]

Exactly! The people I work with, I’ve heard people say she/he not like normal people. I’m like who’s normal? They are extraordinary in there own ways and I’ve learned so much from them.

[Hidden in reply to Grady80]

So true. There are a lot of black and white thinkers. When I see people who are brave to be themselves, I love it!

[Careyon]

Hmm, great question and food for thought. The dictionary defines normal as ‘conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.’ I’m not sure that something I actually wouldn’t want to be. I know I was made in the image of God which makes me EXTRAordinary. Not to get all spiritual on you, but check out Romans12:2 ‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will’. I like what you said about being the best version of you. I’d strive for that as opposed to being normal.