objectively who and what am i

[roachkid]

anyone else have a really hard time conceptualizing their existance? like i genuinely dont think i have a good grasp of what i look like. dysphoria and dysmorphia distort my personal perception of myself to the point i dont know what is real. whenever i looked at pants id always get pairs wayyy too huge for me to try on completely accidentally. I'm pretty socially awkward too so im always scared about others possibly misinterpreting my intentions.... its a whole thing.

[kelseyy]

Hi, I haven't experienced that exact thing but I often question my existential existence. So like who am I? why am I here? what is my purpose? etc. and that can cause a lot of anxiety. Not sure if that's also something you've had or if I'm way off haha (apologies if so). Either way I understand more generally how it's hard to know who you are and hope it doesn't cause too much stress in your life!

In terms of the social part I completely understand what you're saying though! I try to be articulate but sometimes you never know how people will interpret your actions or words, and that can be a rabbit hole I go down and think about a lot. And since I'm pretty quiet I realize people sometimes interpret my quietness as being standoffish or uninterested so I think about that too. I think it's one of those things where somehow I have to learn to say "I've done what I can but it's out of my control." And the good thing is the important people who know me well will know that I'm well intentioned and so they'll know how to interpret what I say and do. I hope it's the same for you!

[roachkid in reply to kelseyy]

thats a really good self affirmation, thank you! and ughhh i wish i could just immediately let others know my resting face is mean looking and im not mad! im alone and to the side bc im shy and anxious! the struggle is real lol

[1OshunDreamer]

Have you been diagnosed with body dysmorphia?