living in denial and regret

[DealingWithBPD2]

hi i’m new and i just wanted a space to talk about ending it all without being judged. i don’t wanna die. i’ve already had many unsuccessful attempts and i have a syndrome that nearly killed me in 2019. but i’m on a road of self destruction and i’m scared of myself. i’m drinking more than i should, smoke way too much weed. i’m bipolar and not taking any meds and i have an eating disorder. i just need help

[Pinkeye901]

You've never been on meds? I'd would highly advise you to get on meds and talk about your illness so they can treat you accordingly. The meds will help if not try a few times until you get the right one. If you're going to self medicate with alcohol and weed mine as well try meds instead. I'm here with you I know exactly how you feel. Cry out to god for forgiveness and pray that he watches you close because you are feeling suicidal. Go alone in your room in private and pray. Let out all your pain, hurt, guilt, suicidal thoughts, sins, and ask him to keep you safe for the night. I'll pray for you as well ok.

[DealingWithBPD2 in reply to Pinkeye901]

I’ve had zoloft but I didn’t like the side effects

[Pinkeye901 in reply to DealingWithBPD2]

Try Xanax for short term. What's the root issue here? Be honest and send me a private message. I'll try my best. I promise it's confidential. Something is causing you to self medicate. Keep composure and realize we are here for you through thick and thin ok. I know it bp2 , but what caused it? Genes or a bunch of assboles treating you like a piece of shit and giving mixed signals.

[kenster1]

hi dealingwithbpd2 I for would never judge for having difficult times in life its thoughts most of us have or have had in times go by glad your hear though because you deserve all the support to help you through to better times.are you getting help with the alcohol and weed in times gone by I too had the same issues as you but managed to overcome them.we all a little guidance to help so make sure you reach out to AA and local help for the weed I`ve seen amazing change in a friend and he is about 5 year drug free and the same with alcohol it can be done and you will do it.

[DealingWithBPD2 in reply to kenster1]

Weed helps with my chronic pain but I’d like to stop drinking

[hypercat54]

Hi you are self medicating to deal with your issues instead of seeking medical help. This is very common and many people do it to some degree or another, but the trouble is it's a very unhealthy and destructive way to behave and will end your life sooner rather than later. If that's your choice then of course it's up to you. No judgement here.

First your bi-polar. Taking Zoloft won't effectively deal with all your symptoms and you probably need a mood stabiliser as well. If you have access to medical treatment I would get this sorted first. Once you are on proper meds you should start feeling quite a lot better. Then I would seek out therapy which will help you deal with your issues instead of papering over the cracks.

Second smoking weed. I don't know a lot about it but am aware that long term use can mess with your mind and cause other issues. Ok like many people in my younger days I did use it a bit for recreational use. I knew a few who were permanent users but it couldn't be doing them much good.

Alcohol is a big killer as we all know. You can end up with cirrhosis and lots of other alcohol related diseases. We all know the effects of alcohol misuse.

I hope you listen to us and get some help.

[DealingWithBPD2 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you very much. I appreciate your tips and I will get back on meds. Zoloft keeps me up at night and i already have an issue with that so I think a mood stabilizer would help a lot because at the moment I’m all over the place

[hypercat54 in reply to DealingWithBPD2]

Yes. I haven't got go bi-polar myself but have heard a lot from others that a mood stabiliser helps a lot with the highs and lows.