I'm New to This

[avahepburn]

Hi, all. This is my first time joining a community that discusses topics like anxiety and other important mental problems...and I don't really know what I'm doing. All I know is that I overthink everything, especially my relationship. I overthink it to the point that I build more and more anxiety inside me that I can physically feel it in my chest. Before I say anything more about my boyfriend, please know he never purposely hurts me. He respects my boundaries, never physically or verbally hurts me, and is all around good to me. It's just the little things that he says or does that I overanalyze and freak myself out about. I take his actions and I overanalyze it to the point that I come to my own conclusions that make me angry and upset. But I can never tell if it's my intuition telling me he's doing something wrong, or if it's my mind making me believe it's wrong when it's something much more simple, and misunderstood. Basically, I can't tell if i should trust my mind or not. Sometimes my mind actually forces me to keep thinking about something that is possibly a problem or not, and even tells me it IS a problem (even though nothing has been proven outside of my mind and I haven't talked about it to him) and I NEED to keep thinking about it. Like even when I recognize, "Okay, i'm thinking about something a lot and it's starting to take a physical toll on me. I'm overthinking and I need to stop." my mind will say "No, this is potentially a problem and problems need to be dealt with and thought about. You shouldn't avoid this." and then I think about that problem OVER AND OVER for days at a time. It's exhausting. I hate it.

[Ladybug9]

I first want to welcome you to a great group of people! You are definitely in the right place. I look up quotes each day to share and as soon as I read your post, I thought about one I found today that seems to fit your situation... Here it is... To love a person is to see all of their magic and to remind them of it when they have forgotten!

That sounds like your other half. So, how can we help? Have you looked at the OCD group here? Some of us have OCD and don't even know it. And some of what you do, sounds like you may have it. Just a thought. Again, welcome!

[avahepburn in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you so much for your welcoming spirit 🖤 I loved that quote. I’m gonna remind him of something wonderful about him the next time I see him!! And honestly, I’m not super knowledgeable about OCD and I didn’t realize I showed signs of having it. Could you elaborate on the signs that you see in me?

[Ladybug9 in reply to avahepburn]

It's just what you said about how your "brain works" and thinking about things over and over and having to analyze everything. Visit the OCD site here and see if you can relate to any of the other posts. I have so many OCD symptoms that it absolutely drives me crazy but "knowing" I have it, helps me to deal with them a lot better. Hugs.

[BlueSky125]

I think it’s helpful to look at some types of thinking as symptoms of something else. The mind is trying to figure out was is wrong and become hyper vigilant. So even minor things are viewed as a threat. This would be helpful for a short period of time if there were an actual threat, but becomes problematic overtime. How long have you been experiencing this and do you have any other symptoms like problems with concentration or sleep.

[avahepburn in reply to BlueSky125]

You make a great point! I never thought about it that way. I’ve always kind of had that “hamster wheel” so to say in my head, like if I’m stressed or anxious or feel any negative emotion towards something, I’ll think about it over and over in several kinds of ways and it always ends up taking a psychical toll on me; like I can feel heaviness in my chest or just overwhelming feelings of sadness inside, if that makes sense lol. I actually have no issues with sleeping, and my concentration depends on how much I enjoy doing whatever task I’m trying to concentrate on. For example, I love arranging flowers. My mom always says I get in this majorly calm frame of mind where I’m focused and chilled out. But if I’m trying to do something I don’t enjoy or I’m not particularly good at, like a math equation or reading a long excerpt from a history book, I definitely have a harder time concentrating.

[Dolphin14]

Hi, welcome to the group.

I did this same thing constantly and with everything. It was exhausting to say the least. Therapy has helped me slow things down, to look at it and figure out why I'm spinning things out of control.

Have you had a failed relationship in the past? Look deep at this because it may not have been a significant other. This could go back years to something that bothers you. You don't need to answer that here, just something to think about.

[avahepburn]

Thank you. I will definitely reflect on this.