Personal Confession: I have absolute... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Personal Confession: I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing talking to guys.

11 Replies

Hello fellow insomniacs!!!! If you just can't sleep, join the club. It appears my communication skills just fall flat sometimes. Especially when I'm trying to talk to a guy that I'd like to get to know better. When I'm around my female friends I have no problem talking about girl stuff, what clothes and trends we'd like to wear and what we wouldn't, what perfume smells really good, debate over do we still find Jon Bon Jovi attractive- you get the idea. Trying to talk to guys, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't like to flirt too much and play a bunch of games, is that all I'm supposed to do??? I guess I could talk about cars, but I'm not interested in knowing how to fix a carburetor. Sports??? I don't keep up with sports unless the World Series or the Olympics are going on. The best things I like to talk about with anyone are music and movies, but some guys might accuse me of liking too many so called chick flicks, and I'd be thinking well I'm just not into watching Rambo and the Dirty Dozen either!!! It's just SO frustrating!!!! Am I just supposed to sit and listen to a guy talk about whatever he wants to and just nod my head??? Seriously, sometimes I've thought maybe I'm gay or something. Nah, don't think so, but I am WAY more comfortable talking to women than men. And I'm not young anymore, you would think I'd get this by now, but I am clueless and awkward. Can anyone relate? Any advice?

11 Replies
Daesin profile image
Daesin

They usually have no idea what to say to girls either.

in reply to Daesin

Do you really think so? A lot of times I end up learning way more about them but they don't ask me too many questions to find out what I'm interested in.

I am female. I donot like sports. I don’t like action movies or superhero movies. I hate violence. But I can comfortably talk about anything with a guy or woman. Old or young.

Be yourself. When I’m talking to my uncle I talk about everything. Stars possible life on the other planets lol. Endless conversations.

Find a man or boy who has a personality.

You’re supposed to show interest in each other. If you just sit and nod, he’ll never get to know you, so that right there isn’t creating any sort of solid foundation for actual long term dating material.

You make it sound like guys are pretty shallow and only like to these ‘manly’ things like work on cars, follow sports and like violent loud movies. That’s not the case. If your picking a decent guy to date, they are looking for the same as you and that is to find a partner that compliments them and to exchange meaningful ideas, opinions, values, someone to love and have someone love them back.

I married my opposite, but we compliment each other in so many ways it’s scary. Do I like certain things he watches on tv? Absolutely not. Do I like the same things he puts on his sandwiches, absolute not. Mayonsise is disgusting to me. I hated watching tennis, super boring, but now I’m a huge men’s tennis fan. 😁😁 So you never know how you’ll change or do different things being with someone.

Anywho, I think you are overthinking it a bit. Natural things come natural, not forced. Be yourself, forcing or being something you think he wants you to be will come through to him as ingenuine, funny how people pick up our facial expressions and body language. You’ll find him.

in reply to

I really don't think guys are shallow at all. It just seems like a lot of things that they seem to be interested in, I will try to listen, but sometimes I feel like they can go on and on about things like sports and I'm just sitting thinking to myself, I'm ready to leave. When you're married you know each other well, but when you first meet someone and you're trying to figure out what do you have in common, it can get really awkward.

in reply to

I once had no clue about my husband. I was super shy and reserved and actually in a wrong place (out of a breakup which isn’t the best place to start dating) when we started going to lunch and then moved to dating. I still didn’t know him entirely till years into our marriage. We both had a crap ton of baggage from our past, but we found common ground, mutual things to share and even new ones to discover and even still do today, 23 years later.

Everyone is awrward in the beginning, completely normal and natural. You’ll find him or he’ll find you. Mine found me actually when I wasn’t looking. 🌺💜

Just be yourself...share your worries...and be a goofball.

Everybody appreciates humor in the tragedies of life. Not caring what others think (respectfully) is attractive.

I think most men just want to share time and be a provider with a good person that will make us feel like our time on earth and hard work wasn’t a total waste of time.

VDC1 profile image
VDC1

Did you watch the Raptors game last night?? Fuckin Lowry, I love that guy, was screaming “And 1” every time he went to the basket just to be an asshole, because they never give him the call. I thought it was great!! Anyway, they gave him a technical for it but he never got kicked out. They played the bench in the 4th and still came back to beat the philly. No Simmons if they end up playing Philly again. Fuckin eh, they can beat em. Bring on the Nets! Woooooooo!!

Hi! Just wanted to say I love your confession😂

in reply to

Well, thank you, but I'm really not meaning to be that funny. I just don't know what to say a lot of the time, and then I just shut down. I might seem so chatty on this website, but if you met me for real, I'm really quiet a lot of the time. You're just hearing the thoughts that go through my female brain.

in reply to

Oh ok, I apologize then. That's okay if you don't know what to say. There is absolutely no pressure to be chatty on here. 🙂

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