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what I have to offer? Do I have to sell myself?

mary009 profile image
17 Replies

ok I’m giving this guy an opportunity, and yesterday he ask me what I have to offer.

That took me for surprise I haven’t though about that, like I know what I can bring to the table but I’m just confuse do I have to bring something when we are just starting? Or I am wrong thinking this way.

Do I have to sell my self if you can say it that way.

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mary009 profile image
mary009
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17 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

You bring yourself and that should be enough for any relationship. This to me is red flag country....

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra

It’s a little early in the game to talk assets. Yeah….BIG red flag. My mom would ask a guy who showed interest in her….what’s your claim to fame? ……She had a hard time dating.

EarthSitter1 profile image
EarthSitter1

I agree with it being a red flag but it could be he may not have meant it how it came across. You could always flip it and say I know my own worth but what is it you can offer to me - he’ll either think this girls worth investing in or run for the hills, either way you’ll at least know where you stand 🤞Good Luck

mary009 profile image
mary009 in reply to EarthSitter1

Thank you!!!

This kind of topic give me a lot of anxiety because it’s hard to give a chance to someone, and it’s my 1st time since 3 years and now I get this kind of question that makes me thing, am I not be enough for him like or maybe he is looking for something different that I can offer to him or he might be curious.

But let’s see, we are just starting and the good part it’s not going hurt If it doesn’t work.

Midori profile image
Midori in reply to mary009

Please take care,

Cheers Midori

mary009 profile image
mary009

Thank you all I though, the same at 1st like maybe is a red flag but… sometimes we are just curious about stuff or he just want to know my answers…let’s see how it goes from know on if not thank you for everything and next because I know myself.

Balloffur2468 profile image
Balloffur2468

What does he have to offer? It might be his way of making conversation with you and to figure out what you are like. I would probably answer with “enough”

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1

This is a very inappropriate question. His only possible excuse is if you know he has trouble finding the right words to express himself, in general.

Oh no he didn't just as you that???!!!!!

RUN!!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Maybe it was an awkward statement, nerves.

On the other hand I would proceed with caution. If you feel like seeing him again maybe bring him a fork. I would say the other night you asked me what I would bring to the table.... I have a fork, what do you have hahaha.

I think it's funny hahaha

🐬

mary009 profile image
mary009 in reply to Dolphin14

Thanks it is funny!

As I said before, it is the 1st time since divorce that I open to someone, so I will try again and see how it goes, but I already told him how I feel about the question, and I already told him, what I bring to the table that’s myself and If that is not enough him, he is free to continue with his life, let's see how it goes later on.

😀

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to mary009

Good for you Mary! You go girl. You are worth being treated like gold

🐬

in reply to mary009

Good for you.

compasnet profile image
compasnet

I wouldn't get too anxious about this. You're bringing yourself and that's a LOT! Whatever happened to the fin and excitement of going to know someone?

Oh boy, that was a large red flag warning. You should always be yourself and that should be enough for anyone. You do not have to sale yourself and for him asking that was very rude. Getting to know each other is what a relationship is about. It takes time and if it is meant to be it will work out and if not then you go your sperate ways. Though I would most likely walked away when he asked that question.

JessFM profile image
JessFM

Hmmmm, you never know he could mean materialistic but then he/she could mean your personality ect, qualities

mary009 profile image
mary009

I really appreciate everyone that give me advise!! Thanks

I know, is something not to be anxious but when you are trying to open up again with someone, and questions like that makes you thing alot event thought you know what are you worth, for me is something big and it give me insecurities because it make me feel bad about myself…. And maybe he didn’t mean to makes me feel that way, it was just a question, and sometimes I take everything very personal. (Everything)

But how I say it, it’s too early we don’t even know if it’s going to workout!!!

But thanks ☺️

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