Kids

[Tech40]

Hi not exactly mental health related but here goes, from my previous post on here me and gf are back together now and we are better. I'm supposed to be taking kids to her tomorrow for the 3rd time this year and tonight my 10 year old said I don't want to go I want to go home and play on Xbox, which I know he plays on often at home(his home not mine), anyway that's kind of got to me tonite and I don't know what to do, do I say tomorrow right we going to the gfs, in the hope he forgets about Xbox etc, like in past he didn't want to go to park but once there was fine or do I let him go home, it makes me think am I doing something wrong or what I know he likes the gf, I just don't know what to do.

Help

[Ladybug9]

My mom use to get upset with me because she said I treated my boys like adults when they were only kids. I told her I respect my children and I COMMUNICATE with my boys. Always have. There may be more going on than just wanting to be on his XBOX. Are you able to communicate with your son? It's so important. I would love to know what you find out. Whether it's truly just wanting to be on his XBOX or something underlining that he isn't showing you, is key to solving this. I hope I'm making sense! I'm a bit tired today and my brain is in brain fog mode!!

[Tech40 in reply to Ladybug9]

Hi me and little legs have a fantastic relationship as my little girl too, I k ow when he's at his home he is on Xbox most if not all day, and when he comes to mine wants to bring his but I limit Time on it to say a couple hrs then it's out to park, like I say in my post do I say right we are going or do I let him go home, it's getting me down abit

[Ladybug9 in reply to Tech40]

Oh don't let it get you down. If you are just going over to visit your gf and there isn't really anything for him to do, it's understandable why he wants to be with his XBOX. I'm so happy to hear that you have a good relationship with your children. Being a parent these days is not easy so I applaud you. As for your son not wanting to go? What does your heart tell you to do? And there's your answer.

[Tech40 in reply to Ladybug9]

That's it there is things to do at gfs, last time we went down he wanted to stay at home, Xbox related, but he came and once there forgot about it and we all had a great time

[Ladybug9 in reply to Tech40]

And there is your answer!! You are such a good dad! I remember when I was raising my grandson and he was hooked, and I mean, HOOKED on XBOX. He finally outgrew it and I don't even know if he has it anymore. But now? I listen to my son in his room playing on his playstation!! LOL

[EleanorRose]

This is a tough one.

My friend’s daughter (a little younger than your son) doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything at the moment and makes a big fuss because all she wants to do is stay home on the iPad. A consequence of lockdown and parents trying to juggle working from home has meant she’s spent a lot more time on technology and has become a little ‘addicted’.

You know your son best. If this is a typical reaction at the moment, chances are he really does just want to play on his Xbox.

I think talk to your son first and see if there is anything underlying. If it’s purely a case of just wanting to spend all his time on technology, then it’d probably do him good to be made to go and do something different. If there is something underlying, you’ll know as his parent what to do.

[Tech40 in reply to EleanorRose]

There's nothing underlying, he would play on Xbox from morning till bedtime and I know he has in the past, I really want him to come with me tomorrow

[EleanorRose in reply to Tech40]

I think you know the right thing to do here. You seem like a great dad and I can tell you’d do anything to make your children happy. Sometimes though, you have to do what you know is best even if your children think differently. Making him take an Xbox break is a good thing!

[Tech40 in reply to EleanorRose]

That's what I'm hoping

[Tech40 in reply to EleanorRose]

Just a quick update I've just got back from the girlfriends with the kids and what a great time we've had and my ten year old boy has loved it, been paddling down the river, had a picnic in the blazing sun and played with a bat and ball, so back now and just waiting for thre mam to pick them up as they live with her, so thank you for your replies.

Me and gf have our first year anniversary coming up in just over a week so trying to think what Todo to celebrate.

[EleanorRose in reply to Tech40]

Fantastic news! I am so pleased it worked out well and you all had a great time.

Happy Anniversary

[Tech40 in reply to EleanorRose]

Thank you so am I.

What do new couples do to celebrate first year it's been that long since I did anything like this