Hi guys does anyone have any tips on stopping the thoughts in my head going over and over telling me I’m never going to feel better
I live with my 18yr old daughter and I don’t want her seeing me like this as I watched my mum and sure it’s learned behaviour!!!
Hi,
Ruminating is awful, isn't it? Have you tried CBT or DBT therapy? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has to do with attempting to change our thought patterns, while Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) attempts to change our inner dialogue.
Our thoughts don't know the difference between what's true and what isn't, so we need to teach it. Easier said than done, though!
I have done a self referral for CBT I think and supposed to be getting a call on Wednesday. I keep trying to tell myself I’m being silly but the negative thoughts are so much stronger 😪
I know what you mean! It's brutal. Are you going in for CBT sessions soon, is that what you mean? I find CBT a powerful tool. I hope you do as well!
Yes they are only doing telephone appointments at the moment though
Good luck with them!🙂
I’m in this boat too . Might make it easier to talk about dark stuff when not face to face . What’s what I’m hoping anyway
Hey !! I know what you’re going through. I did that last night while trying to sleep. Are you on meds ?
Yes amatryptaline which normal helps me sleep but the thoughts are there all day making me more anxious I’m struggling to eat anything at the moment!!
You stop those thoughts by letting them come, observing the content but not placing any belief in them. The less respect you give those thoughts, the quicker they disappear.
The thoughts are generated by an anxious mind and body. It’s normal under the circumstances and just a by product of anxiety. Anxious energy that has built up within you through prolonged stress and needs to be released. Worrying or trying to force yourself to think differently simply adds more stress to the equation, producing the very same symptoms you are trying to get rid of! Accept it all and all anxious thoughts and feelings will gradually disappear.
How do you do this? My thinking is in the gutter all day.
So when you say not placing any belief in them, how do you do this? It it a case of saying to yourself this isn’t correct I will get better ?
Hi again,
It might help you to write down your thoughts and look for the evidence of each thought. An example of looking for the evidence: if your thought is "I'm unlovable", did someone tell you this? Doesn't your family love you?
If you feel comfortable, give me one of your thoughts and we can try to find the evidence for disputing it.
The worst one is’l will never stop feeling anxious, will always feel this way.
I know it’s not true but at the time can’t convince myself I will ever feel better 😞
What are you anxious about? Maybe start with that and go from there.
Thoughts are not factual. They are random. They come uninvited. They pop into your head. Anxiety is adept at manufacturing negative thoughts which demand your attention because they arrive wit a flash of fear. It’s hard to ignore them. However, people make mistake of thinking they are factual and believe the content of this thoughts. They wrestle with those thoughts, trying to figure them out, trying to reconcile with them but they keep appearing. It’s exhausting and not long before depression arrives on the scene. This is to be expected because the person has been thrashing their own mind and body trying to think and feel differently. It’s very much like a car battery that has lost its charge because the lights has been left on all night.
If you learn to let those thoughts come and have their say and then let them go, offering zero resistance, this draws their bite and they all gradually fade away. All those negative thoughts are just anxious energy being released. The more you allow that energy to be released, the quicker the mind and body finds its natural peaceful state.
I learnt all this by reading Dr Claire Weekes and At Last a Life by Paul David and putting their advice into practice. I suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time but learnt to accept all those thoughts and feelings and they all slipped away.
Thank you for this. There seems to be a few books by Dr Claire Weekes, can you advise the best one for me please.
I bought Essential Help for Your Nerves. I also bought At Last a Life by Paul David. The latter, and Paul’s website and blog [anxietynomore.co.uk] follows the exact same principles first pioneered by Dr Weekes [face, accept, float past and let time pass] and complements Dr Weekes’ teachings. His book and blog also helped me to better understand what acceptance really meant [i.e. do nothing to try and stop the thoughts and feelings and to avoid none of it]. Once you resign yourself to the thoughts and feelings and let yourself think and feel everything then recovery can begin. Recovery will come to you. Time really is the healer.
Thank you Beevee I’ve just bought At last a life on the kindle so can start reading straight away .. wish me luck
You don’t need luck. Just an understanding of anxiety and how it manifests. Anxiety is a paradox. The more you do to try and feel better, the worse it gets. The less you do to try and feel better, the better you will feel. Understanding makes acceptance easier as it takes away a lot of the bewilderment and unknown. Then it is just a case of letting the anxiety be there for as long as it wants to be and doing nothing to change it.
Maybe visit doc and get stronger meds for depression . The ones you’re on I was on years ago and are v mild
I was on citalopram which seemed to do the trick but I wasn’t sleeping which meant thoughts would go round in my head all night and it always seems worse in the middle of the night.
Amitriptyline makes me sleep but on a bad day can be anxious all day
Maybe speaking to doc and trying another med could help
Can’t get out of my head 
Consumed by my thoughts
In my head this afternoon 🫤💔
