My Life... What A Mess

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

Where to begin. Firstly I hope you have all kept well and safe during this horrible pandemic as well as your families and I hope this site has given you all the support you need. Before the lockdown I lost my father to leukaemia and I still haven’t felt as devastated as I want to he was an older man I suppose 74 at the time but I’m only 22 and he was my whole world my best friend and in all honesty his memory has faded into the background in my mind I don’t think about him every day or anything like that perhaps it’s due to a global pandemic I don’t know but it’s a huge concern of mine don’t get me wrong I’ve burst into tears multiple timed sat in his bedroom crying. But I mostly just feel nothing apathy I suppose which brings me to the reason why I think I’m suffering with this. During my fathers stay in hospital back in February/March my brother developed a relationship with a girl who straight after my fathers death moved into our house there was no discussion no nothing I wasn’t asked if I was okay with it at any point. Obviously there was a lockdown in the U.K and she had been spending a lot of time at our house prior to the lockdown and her mother has a health condition which makes her particularly vulnerable to coronavirus. So I understood the logic behind her staying. After a couple of months however it was driving me mad she’s blunt and short with me and has made no attempt to comfort me once after my fathers death has made changes to the house as well as bringing in a rabbit to the home that I was also not consulted about. And at first I was infuriated by this I thought it was very strange that someone would want to move into a dead mans house and work her way into living with grieving sons one of which is her boyfriend. I have brought up my issues with this lots of times and my brother always made out that I was being completely unreasonable for wanting her out and that I’ve not made a comfortable environment for her. And that she would be gone when lockdown ends. When to be honest I just stay way from her I don’t like her I think what’s she’s done is very strange and disrespectful. Did I mention she also barely followed lockdown going home on numerous occasions to which I reacted poorly to and was again made out to be the bad guy. But even her living at my home and the complete lack of control I feel I have over that I used to be upset and angry now I just don’t care at all and I don’t know why my mum says I’m just used to her but I dunno I’m just so sick of being apathetic anyone got any advice or support? Or am I being crazy?

[Agora1]

Hi Meyer....You are certainly not crazy. You are still in the grieving process in having

lost your father. And now you have a stranger seemingly taking over with changes

without your brother talking it over with you. My worry would be in her leaving from

time to time, making the chances of her carrying the virus more prevalent.

It sounds like your mother doesn't find it a problem. Maybe Meyer, it's time for a sit down

family discussion as to where this is all going. The Pandemic doesn't seem to be ending

that soon. What are the thoughts of your brother and his girlfriend. Will they continue to

live in your mom's house indefinitely??

What about your mental health issues? How healthy can that be living in a stressful

situation everyday? I hope things get straightened out soon. My best to you xx

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your wise words as always agora I am not at my mothers house though I’m at my fathers so she can’t really do anything. In the U.K the restrictions have been loosened quite a bit it’s more about the fact that I don’t care anymore and I don’t know why?