Looking for advice

[Lookingforsupport1]

I’m new here and having difficulty getting over an ex and looking for some advice and support. We’ve been friends for 10 years even after we broke up and he just told me he met someone and she doesn’t want us being friends because we’re exes. I’m devastated because we talked everyday and he was my best friend. Has anyone been through this that can offer advice.

[Tiggerakafidgity]

Hi there well I split up with my wife about April time.

When I now see her she always brings up my friend who is a female who used to be best friends with my wife.my wife suddenly one day text her and starting having a go for no reason.

Now my wife says she can’t see any hope for us while I’m friends with my female friend.

To be honest friends are for life !!!

My friend has been there for me when my wife hasn’t.my wife has acted in such a mean nasty way that friends don’t usually act.

It’s kinda unfair that my wife is trying to make me choose.

But hey that’s her own insecurities at play.

I know who I would rather know now.some body that’s kinda and thoughtful and has got my back.

I do find that it’s usually ppls insecurities that make it hard for the opposite sex just to be friends.

So there you have it.my opinion,take it as you wish

Good luck my friend

[Lookingforsupport1 in reply to Tiggerakafidgity]

Thank you I appreciate that. It’s their I securties. Opposite sexes should be able to have good friendships

[Jello2000]

Firstly, I am really sorry It sucks to break up with someone you have a long history with. I could only imagine-

Idk if this will help but try and think of the neuroscience of it all. Studies have shown that your brain has a way of defending itself by continuing to remind you of your ex after you break up. It’s your brain telling you “you need a partner”

Whenever they come into mind just remind yourself- you are a strong individual. You don’t rely on them.

Only after you feel you have truly gotten over him you should feel free to reopen your life back to him.

If he was a true friend he would continue his platonic relationship with you regardless of their current gf.

If he prioritizes his gf over you he doesn’t even deserve you.

I’m sorry if that didn’t help, but good luck

Take your time.

And just so you know- I dated a really shitty guy for like 4 months. And after I broke up I couldn’t stop thinking ab him for so long. It’s natural.

You will heal

[Lookingforsupport1 in reply to Jello2000]

Thank you so much for that. That really helped

[Hidden]

I met this girl in 5th grade, we became best friends almost immediately. Never dated even though we could have numerous times. Was always there. Finally I get married to my wife now, she sees her comment on some Facebook post I had and starts accusing me of having an affair. I don’t have emotional attachments like most people so I just told her and we amicably ended our friendship. It was odd not having someone to talk to who understood me for a little bit but it made me a stronger person in the end.

We never dated because between the two of us we had 12 mutual friends. We were the last of the group, everyone else had passed away before we hit 21. If one of us fell we’d both be done and it was forcing us to really evaluate ourselves (ending the friendship) that helped us grow in the end. Odd to say but I know she’s better now just like me, guess 20 something years of friendship gives you that sixth sense 😂.

You’ll be fine, if anything you’ll be strong from it all.

[Lookingforsupport1]

Thank you for that. That is helpful

[CHPA]

Oh gosh. It's hard sometimes isn't it. There are people in my life who I should have long ago let go who I just can't. But I should. and even do for a while.

You know we all in our 70 or 80 or 90 years go through a variety of phases of life and a variety of friends. We have great friends in high school but we usually drift away from them as young adults and find new adult friends in our 20's. Then perhaps we move or get married and have kids and we find new friends and suddenly have fewer things in common with our single friends from our 20's. And on it goes. I say this because it is okay that we change friends from time to time. It doesn't mean our best friend in 6th grade wasn't important to us but can you go back... probably not.

Ex's add to the complication especially if he wanted to break up more than you did. But I also respect his new GF for feeling insecure. I think you just have to let him make the call here. He deserves to have a relationship unburdened by the past if that is his choice. It doesn't mean you weren't or aren't important but he perhaps needs to move on. Perhaps you do as well as much as that thought scares you

[Lookingforsupport1]

Thank you for that advice