I want to scream

I'm feeling really down.Even though I'm getting reassurances that things will be ok I keep seeing things everywhere getting worse and worse.I have autism and I think a chemical imbalence that keeps the hundreds of coping mechanisms that I've tried from calming or settling my mind at all.I have a therapist I'm seeing more often now but I really need to talk to someone everyday now and of course that would be really problematic. This was not the way I thought my life would have gone.I'm 37 and do not wish to live most of my midlife in a cruel dystopian world.I always thought that as ai I got a bit older i would be able to enjoy a little bit of peace more often in my mind but now I've been robbed of ever achieving that.

[Sprinkle1]

Don't give up, believe me, I have lived to be 78 and faced Many challenges in my life. Things always change, some quickly others may take years. One thing that helped me a lot was the modern church I went to, and then Spiritual Group I was in, this back in Calif. I live in a small area in SC now and have not been able to find this church here, or a branch of the Spiritual Group. But thankfully I was in the group for many years, it taught me many things, one of the cherished ones is "Live in the Moment", I have been doing that for 20 years, I have a wonderful life. It taught me how to cope when life gets rough or I am ill. I suffer with severe clinical depression/anxiety and become suicidal. This has been going on since childhood. Then there are the breaks, I just came out of a 3 year trip thru hell. I am now on med's that help me with both, med's for sleep and a great therapist. You will come out of this, can you read, I find biographies very interesting and they take me out of my mind. Can you meditate that is So helpful, listen to calm music. Do you have a close trusted friend you can talk to?

A great book to read is Dr.Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled", it helped me a lot, Amazon has it new/used, it was in the top 10 best seller list for 7 years. Also material by Dr. Claire Weeks she is great, I have one of her books I rely on. I am sorry about your illness, maybe it will go into recession, my asthma has. If I can be of anymore help let me know, talk to us here, we are here to give love and support....I send you Love, Peace and big hugs.......

Oh and I do not watch news or read the paper, I shut those things out of my life, there is nothing I can do about them, so I have to be the best person I can be everyday and go ahead and live my life, that is what God gave it to me for. I love animals and watch those type of programs on TV, PBS has lots of good programs, or you can go online and search out good things that will being you joy and peace......love n hugs.....