I am drowning. I am so overwhelmed with life. I am single Mum to 3 kids, with my own business. There is no Dad in their life so I am being both breadwinner and homemaker and it is so hard.
I can't keep all the balls in the air and my mental health is at rock bottom. I have struggled with Depression for years and years, and am on Citalopram. I know all the things that I am 'supposed' to do - eat right, avoid alcohol, take exercise, have time for myself etc but I cannot bring myself to do any of them. It is like self-sabotage and I do not understand why I am like this.
I spend my whole day thinking of when I can go back to bed, or whether I can sneak out of work to sleep in my car just to escape my own head. I can't be bothered to be alive, but have to be for the kids.
All I want to do is ensure that my children don't only have memories of a depressed Mum as their childhood memories; I don't even care about how I feel, but I do care about them. I just don't have the energy to be that Mum so we just sit around watching TV. I really feel such a failure and am just winging it through their lives.
I have given up entirely on feeling better for my own sake, but should make an effort for their sake.
Any advice welcomed - please help xx