As a true Introvert, (INFJ) I spend lots of time in my own head daydreaming ..my favorite destination being quiet explorations in my own mind. No matter where we are I feel called away by own thoughts. I grow very restless, as most Introverts do, so we let our imagination kidnap us for a while. Sound familiar?? On the outside we look like Sloths on Xanax and inside our brains are on fire with bright ideas and dreams. It does feel awesome to wander the deep forest of our imagination. It's a necessary coping mechanism...going inside our head helps us avoid stimulation. When I'm in situations that are too peopley and conversation's that are too long..I'm feeling trapped.
What situations make you feel trapped as an Introvert & what's your escape route?
To those of restless mind and heart, seemingly a natural state for introverts, causes for the sensation of entrapment are myriad. Natural tendency might be to feel overwhelmed, emotionally shutdown and withdraw into one's emotional shell. The good news is that, if you're reading this, you've already realized that the earlier described is unacceptable and action is required to bring about positive changes.
As we all reach out, for support and connections, we'll interact with a wide variety of persons on here. If you're fortunate enough to find someone that genuinely understands and cares, I advise that you make every effort to appreciate such people, as they are rare indeed.
I work very hard to not get trapped. It requires quite a bit of strategy on my part and can be tiring.
My birthday is something I rarely mention to anyone, no parties please. My family members are aware and they would never dream of surprising me with a B-day celebration. A quiet get together will do splendid, thank-you.
I can entertain the most prolific thoughts on a given subject, but if I'm in a group setting and try to express said thoughts, they seem to come out all wrong or jumbled, leaving me feeling somewhat embarrassed. If I need to express myself to anyone on a deep level I am much better to write it out and press send. ~.~
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Me too. In a group I'm a wreck and don't know how to rescue myself (,well I do....leave) but in situations such as funerals, wakes, weddings I'm totally messed up. It's better I sit and shut up and then I get the "you look sad" 🤬, "you're so quiet"🤬
Hey family aunts uncles cousins etc...haven't you been paying attention ..been this way all my life!!!
I live in my head and have for most of my life, if I didn't have an imagination I wouldn't have much of a life. I'm almost always imagining myself as someone with good friends who travels and goes to parties and always knows the right thing to say. I even do it when I'm with my family which is rude but I'm pretty sure no one notices that I do it. This is why I like going to see live performances because they force me, for a little while, to be present and fully in the moment. Otherwise I'm not here.
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Yes I despise being told I have to be somewhere esp a funeral or a wedding. I'm an adult it's my decision, isn't it? Rather the response of "can't come got sick at the last minute"..cough cough., I'm made to feel guilty by my mother so I go. Let me rephrase, I let myself feel guilty..my choice ...and I need to start changing that because I am an adult so you guys go have fun and yes I'm sick 😷✌️⚓
I’m excel at letting guilt rule me! And yes most of it “comes” from my mother! I’ve started practicing in the past year or two ignoring it and listening to what I want! It is HARD! Ha!
Hello this sounds so much like me and at times felt that I'm absolutely crazy. If it wasn't for my imagination and me wanting to live in another place in time I would have much of a life either.
I ask myself everyday how I ended up alone 90% of the time. Even at work I have 1 friend and shes married. It hard to do things with a married person.
Since the pandemic it has really started to bother me because I really wanna be connected and I feel so disconnected. I find myself comparing my life to others a lot and I just really wanna be happy and joyful and in in loving relationship with people.
You are not crazy. You're an introvert, a simple personality trait. I was wondering what was wrong with me not wanting to go out much, enjoying being alone, hating parties and weddings etc..most people fall in the middle others are exteme Introvert's and extreme Extrovert's
I'm posting more research tomorrow after I put it together re: the why's of certain things we do and don't do and for some I was so surprised however it explains a lot more. That's coming tomorrow...
I know that it's wrong to compare myself to others but it's so much a part of life that it's impossible for me not to do it to myself. It's all about trying to find out what I'm missing that keeps me from being seen by others and forming relationships with them. I'm shy and quiet, that's not a combination that gets noticed and I'm never going to be the person who lights up a room with my personality.
You know what makes me happy? Cancelled plans. I will spend far too much time overthinking how I am going to get through a social gathering, of any kind. This includes family gatherings, sadly.
When I was a child, my Mother, who was an alcoholic and prescription drug abuser would have groups of friends over and they would get drunk and it always ended up in an argument, and mostly nasty/scary arguments. I remember hiding under my bed to avoid it all. This surely was the beginning of my anxiety, and surely when I began to be aware of my introvert tendencies.
Now, all this said, being an INFJ doesn't mean that someone suffered a dysfunctional childhood. Not at all. This is what caused my anxiety disorder, without a doubt, though.
Gretel1331, thank-you for starting this conversation, it feels good to write out how I feel. Also, I find the subject of the Introvert personality so interesting.
Hi Gretel331, thank you for posting this subject! As much as I don’t want to be an introvert ....I am. And it’s nice that I can explain to myself the reasons for the way I feel and behave. One of my struggles is with panel interviews. My most recent interview, I was denied the job because my oral communication was ineffective... this was from the HR director for the company I work with, from someone who knows my work. Ugh... The other area I struggle with is friendship. I can socialize in a group, but usually one on one, but I can’t make any lasting connections. I started the New year with a goal of being more engaging... then COVID hit. Luckily I was busy at work (not health care) for the past 3 months, but now that things are slowing down I’m sad and lonely. So now I feel I’m being desperate when I think about engaging with someone.... then I remember I can’t go out anyways.
I just realized this was a 6 hour ago post.... but thank you again for the thread it helped me. Take care.
Hi! Thanks for responding. So, you are an introvert and you want to make friends and be less lonely. I'm going to tell you about an app called Meet-Up that you can download. It has so many groups and people use it connect with others. You can also develop your own group.
Are you living in a place where you cannot go out yet at all? You can meet up for walks in parks and when movie theatres open you could join a movie group or start an introvert group etc..there's many to choose from.
Do you think you are a true Introvert? Usually Introvert's are not lonely..
Introverts usually love being at home and have a hard time socializing in groups because that's not how we operate. Our personality trait is Introvert.
I'm wondering if there's something else going on such as loneliness without being an introvert...what do you think?
If there's anything I can do to help please let me know 😊😊😊😊
Aww ....thank you Gretel331! Yes, found meetup, but with COVID still a.little scary.
Trying to word a group description for empty nester / introvert dinner club since I’m not seeing a similar group locally.
I don’t think I’m a true introvert.
My issue is feeling uncomfortable in groups. I make all the efforts ( saying hello, eye contact, leading questions) to fit in but end up looking for another person that’s alone and still don’t make a connection and I’m sensitive to the (bad) energy.
You are so welcome. I've gone to some groups that were great on meet up. We are entering phase 3 here in my state although we have to wear masks in phase 3 everything will be opening july 1. I would still meet up. Just wear your mask for now. Let me know if I can help direct you toward other groups. Sometimes walking groups, movie groups, meeting for coffee can be just the same and help you with your loneliness. I'm lonely too.
I’m not sure of the phases in my area, but there was a Meetup walking group this past weekend.... 60 people had signed up...I declined...too much to soon. The smaller ones fill up quickly ( actually I’ll take a look after I finish this message!).
Sorry to hear you’re lonely too. Even though you’re an introvert? And the research you’ve done. It’s all so complicated.
Yes... 3 crazy dogs! All rescues....and high energy, but so much fun! What do you have?
I’m sorry to hear that you have suffered for so long.
I admire that you have been able to focus on learning more about introverts. I looked back at your original post about things that make infj’s to feel trapped....I can relate to half of them. Those are the ones that will probably stop me from pursuing a meetup group... lol
Yes I have, the anxiety meetup. Not good for an introvert so I stopped after 4 times. Hearing about others anxiety in a group drove me batty and nervous. I'm researching the introvert to gain more insight into myself so I'll be posting more in a day or 2.
Yes, I would imagine that type of group would be difficult ... I look forward to the next step in your research! I guess I have to follow you to see the next post... haha.
Very nice! The one that resonates with me is #6. It is important for me to have social interaction, but I do get stressed with the level of energy and that no one will listen to me.
I’m sitting out in the backyard right now because I’m working on a really tight deadline. Everyone is popping off emails about changes totally disregarding how difficult this project or acknowledging the fact that I worked all weekend to get it to this point.
I feel like I’m whining, but I would feel better if I could call Standing up for myself ... as self care. Is that fair?? Lol
I get really bad at parties, even if it is just the family. I do better if I’m one of the first of the guests to arrive but it is awful for me to come in to an already full house. Since it’s usually family I have a harder time escaping inside because someone wants my attention so I bring my camera with me and use that as a shield.
Yes parties are a nightmare. Our senses for noise are increased and makes us feel horrible.
I just did more research to answer more questions on why many situations bother Introverts although we know we like little socialization and like to be alone. I found out so much more I plan to post in the next few days
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I don’t know.
Same old thing
Overwhelmed with life...
Married to an introvert 40 years and didn't understand his actions
