Emetophobia.

[Zeleriah]

This is my first time posting anything.. I've gone through some posts of others beforr I decided to do this. I never had the courage.. and now here I am typing this.

I got really sick 3 years ago and through those years it got worse. Mostly because I developed a phobia, aka emetophobia. I experienced my first panic attack. And it ruined my life. It resulted in, not eating and drinking. I eventually had to fly to another country because our hospital wasn't good enough to tell us what is actually wrong. I had surgery about a year ago. Gallbladder removal and ever sincr that happened I started eating again, but not to the full extent. I don't enjoy food like I use to. If anyone cooks I'd stand outside until the smell is gone or go to my room and use spray to get the smell out. Even keep my windows open at all times. I feel disgusted by food. I am so scared of when my phobia can happen. I have nightmares about it.. I didn't even go to the shop with my family. I simplu refuse to. I try to take the first step of exposure but I end up going to the car whilst having a panic attack. I try to tell myself to get over it. But it's very hard. And I have come to the extent where I don't know what to do.