Feeling angry/annoyed at a friend because she cant understand what I'm going through and I feel guilty

[Interstellar1994]

I have dealt with anxiety, ocd, and depression my whole life, yet my roommate and very good friend is one of the few people I've met who has zero experience with any of it. I've started to feel annoyed at her for this, although I I have no reason to. I am now 26 and unable to pick a career let alone get out of bed to complete my responsibilities due to my anxiety and depression. I am in an incredibly painful "relationship" that I can't get myself to leave because of my issues with abandonment and my anxiety. This is my third toxic relationship, with the first being abusive and the second was still in love with his ex. My roommate has never been left, cheated on, or abused. She's never had an anxiety disorder or depression. She is motivated, at peace, and in good spirits 90% of the time. She has an incredibly loving boyfriend and a great job. I feel so guilty for it, but I've started to hate being around her. I somehow feel angry at her. I know she has done nothing wrong. She just doesn't understand what it's like to have issues with mental health. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I've never felt this way about anyone, especially someone so important to me. I hate feeling so petty and jealous, yet these feelings won't go away. She is a good friend to me. Has anyone else had issues with this?

[wolfy88]

I know what you feel....

i often have that issue...

As the saying goes “try using someone else’s shoes” is really hard to do... even very emphathic person, whom never deal with mental health issues....

Sometimes i try to not thinking about it and let it go... because it makes you sad and dissapointed...

And, our expectations are evil...

i suggest you to let it go, focus on your mental health, love yourself...

Don’t let them bother you...

There’s a thing that we can’t control.... such as people’s feeling, mind and response to situation...

Hope you’re doing okay.... 😊

[Beau-penny]

Hi I can completely empathise. I have never had those kind of feelings for anyone ever until recently. I started with clinical depression and anxiety at 14 I inherited it through genetics. I also have extreme fatigue I can’t stay awake for longer than 2 hours and now I look back at 45 years old has ruined my life. After a nervous breakdown 4 years ago after a life of this and 3 toxic relationships the time missed of work and jobs and staying around these toxic people through rejection and being treated like crap most of my life things are just starting to fall into place in my head about my whole life. I have basically for 20 years tried to get help but have been fobbed off ending up with me putting up with anything and anyone to distract from my illness. I am now alone at 44 and extremely unwell and have been treated like crap by the cmht team and doctors again. As it’s all built up over the years I have a younger friend who has had an amazing boyfriend since she was 15 , she is now 30 , both good careers , just bought brand new cars , brand new 3 storey house, hot tub, also going on holiday together and have a great happy life. She’s energetic and confident, no mental health issues. He proposed to her last year and got someone to film it at a festival, and that’s all she ever wanted. That’s when it hit me. Look how amazing her life is and always has been her whole life. I look back at mine and the jealousy just hit. I thought she was a good friend too but since my breakdown has distanced herself from me as I’m dragging her down . I need to be more positive. She’s not my councillor. I basically now after everything give up and she made me feel like my life has passed and been wasted struggling with mental illness. I now can’t even stand being around her because of what she said and the fact I feel it’s rubbing it in my face. Her perfect life! I’ve been isolating alone with no support , already very unwell and suicidal. She makes me feel there’s no point to my life left. I’m very lonely and feel I should of been helped years ago but I now see the bigger picture from the age 14. The stigma around mental health is disgusting more people have horrible personality’s and moods then people with depression anxiety. There often very understanding kind people as they have to struggle everyday. But that makes you the perfect prey for abusive men. Yet you never asked to suffer from depression or any illness and not your fault but are just left .

[Hidden]

Get rid of the toxic relationship. You must be strong and tell that person go. That could be keeping you in your situation. It is not helping you at all. You are a great person and you have worth. Do not stay in that relationship. As far as depression. No one will understand unless they have been through it. You need to seek help from a professional. They will tell you what to do and possibly prescribe medicine. You have to realize you are letting people keep you down. It took me along time to say get out of here. Leave me alone. As far as anger. We blame people we love for unknown reasons. So seek help. Get out if bed will be a start. Treat yourself nice. You deserve it.

[Sabio77]

Interstellar1994 thank you for sharing. it is important that you do understand why you are getting angry and beginning to resent your roommate. it sounds like that because you are struggling and so deeply desire to be like her calm and happy ways that you have begun to be resentful and bitter so the emotion of anger has surfaced. I urge you to talk to her by asking her to try to understand how you feel and what you go thru. that you do value her friendship.