Anyone else (unfortunately) have this... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Anyone else (unfortunately) have this little boo-boo?

Nothing_but_books profile image

Living in clutter. Can't make myself get going - lots of reasons, so what.

I wonder if anyone else with this little glitch would be interested in motivating each other? I don't know, maybe just posting what we are going to do... Someone to be accountable to? If we find a group, we could have fun (yuck) instead of just obsessing maybe.

Whadda-ya think?

Hope you are all well. Take care of yourself.

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Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books
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16 Replies
Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Wow!!! This post is fantastic and I could have written it! I have said many times that I think that the fact that I live alone, makes it worse because I have no one to be accountable to, so no one else that has to look at it.( I don't think my dogs mind)! However, I think that trying to be accountable to anyone ( on here) would make me even more anxious. But I'd love to see how this unfolds! I'll be watching!

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

Hey Downandout123,

It's just you and me for now Toots. But we two may be able to start some action. So I'll go first, even though it is scary. (It isn't just trying to be accountable that's scary for me, it's getting myself to pick something and follow through.)

I am washing a load of clothes right now. Going up and down the stairs into the basement HURTS, so I am sitting now and hoping for another burst of optimism. (Oh, that crazy gal.)

If said burst of optimism & pain-reduction happens - and all the stars and moons align (remember 2001 A Space Odyssey - syzygy), I will wash off my baby's table (see avatar, green cheek conure).

Your turn.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Awww-he/ she is so beautiful!! Hey wait-who said I was willing to do this? 😂 And where is everyone else? Like we are the only two that have this problem?!

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

Beautiful yes. Sweet, not so much. Having a bird is a learning experience. Not "eager to please" like having a dog. More like she trained me, biting when necessary. But when she "kiss-kisses" my heart melts.

As for being the only ones, that means we are BRAVE! Let the cowards hide.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Haha ok! So let's see-I'm at work now. I work till 6:00 Mon.-Fri., so I don't know if I'm getting anything done tonight. What causes your body to have so much pain?

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

Dam fi know. Feet in agony most days. Can't stand or walk without misery. Doctors worse than useless. Wish I had some idea - maybe could do something about pain besides panic and depression.

Lazyness no excuse!! Get off lame butt!

(Excuse please. Chalk it up to looney tune Downandout chick.)

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Nothing_but_books

The doctors have no idea why you are in pain? How can that be?🤔 Did they do any sort of tests?

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

TRIGGER WARNING - RANT ABOUT PAIN & DOCTORS

For three years after my life changed for the worse I was referred to every sort of doctor.

They tested this, they tested that. They did things that made the pain much worse. A pain doctor (I didn't know what that was at the time) abused me for seeking drugs. I didn't understand, I only knew she was nasty and berating me. Telling me SHE knew much more about what was and wasn't wrong with my feet than I did. Much later, when I came to understand they dispense strong pain drugs, I did understand the conclusion she jumped to - and I hated her. I am one of those people who want to know what is wrong, and fix it - not use drugs to conceal the symptoms.

The whole doctor thing came to a slam-bang conclusion when a wonderful, caring eye doctor saw me advancing down his hallway a quarter of an inch at a time. He sat with me, and asked me to talk about what was wrong. Then he advised me to stop seeing all the useless doctors and go to an orthopaedic foot specialist. Can you hear all the angels sing in harmony? I cried. I knew I was saved.

Not so much. Said "specialist" put me on an off-label use of Neurontin, at the maximum allowed dosage. The second day on it, my left ankle swelled up as though there was a water balloon inside. Terrified, I called the office. A day later, he called back. Told me ya, it could be permanent. But if I didn't stay on the drug he had nothing else for me. I couldn't stand at all at that point because of pain. So I stuck. And it happened to my other ankle, then to both feet. Permanent swelling in both of my ankles and feet. And "venous insufficiency". That means black, ugly veins disfiguring both lower legs. And now the pain spread from just the bottom of my feet to include ALL of both of my feet and ankles. When I called the office repeatedly to talk to the doctor I got no call back for more than a week. Then his secretary called back to cancel my next appointment. She said there was nothing further the doctor could do for (to) me. She said (I quote) "Do you understand, honey?"

Hurt. Angry. Humiliated. One last chance - my gynecologist said "All the doctors here have the same schooling. You are not going to get a different answer until you go somewhere else. Try The Cleveland Clinic. The angels were somewhat quieter this time. But I fought the HMO. I persisted. I endured an agonizing many-hour drive there. I brought medical files, x-rays, MRIs, everything that had been done to me. And pages of notes to show the doctor.

And I saw the doctor. You won't believe I'm not exaggerating - he saw me for less than two minutes. And nastily told me that he would not look at anything I brought, they have nothing they can do for me.

Now its twenty-two years later. Twenty-two years of being ashamed of the ugliness of my legs and feet (once I thought I had nice feet). Twenty-two years of pain, of avoiding doctors, hating doctors.

And begging my husband for help. For twenty-two years. "Feed me please?" "Please rub my feet, I am in so much pain..."

He has a girlfriend now. He lives in a motel now. And he comes here almost every day to make dinner for me. And to scream at me while he makes it. And to serve it by 9:30 or 10:00 at night. Most days. If I'm good.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Nothing_but_books

Addendum: Tried to sue the orthopaedic foot specialist for injuring me for life.

No-go. It appears that if the doctors have never given you a diagnosis, then you are out of luck. They can't be giving you the wrong treatment if no one knows what the right treatment is.

Gjkas profile image
Gjkas in reply to Nothing_but_books

I have nothing but pain. I was in hospital for 6 weeks before they told me that I had Chronic Fibromyalgia Chronic ,Fatigue and .PTSD.

That was 9 years ago,and I'm still in Chronic Pain. It affects every part of your body ,even your bones if you suffer with Osteoarthritis.

Ask your G.P to refer you to either a Neurologist or Pain Management.

If you have it Chronic ,you're not Lazy, you just can't do it .

But they have to rule everything out before they can diagnose it.

A Neurologist diagnosed me when I was in hospital .The major problem is Neuropathic pain. 😭😢😱😨.

You can't see it but Oh Boy you can b....y well feel it.

Im so sorry you're hurting so much.

I know what it's like. 😰

You're not a Looney at all.

People don't know unless they have it. Perhaps you have got it. The trouble is that there are no Clinics just yet. Not until the Coronavirus

have eased off. But get a GP callback and tell him you want to see one of them. Either the Neurologist or the Pain Management Doctors.

Take Care and Stay Safe. Gjkas xx

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Gjkas

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. 😣 I can't imagine pain like that. So that's great that you were able to get laundry done. I'd call it a day! I think you misunderstood. I suffer from anxiety and depression. Other than that, my body feels fine.

Gjkas profile image
Gjkas in reply to Downandout123

Oh im sorry, i thought that you had pain in your body.

Im always opening my mouth and putting my foot in it.

Anxiety and depression are both bad enough. I have them as well. Between the b....y lot of it. I'm really fed up. I'm glad you're not having the body pain. What you have is bad enough. Stay safe. Glo.xx.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Gjkas

Thank you. Same to you!

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

I am glad for you that your anxiety and depression do not manifest in physical symptoms. If I get you.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123 in reply to Nothing_but_books

Yes-that's what I meant. No physical ailments. My depression has lead me to not want to do anything, and spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on the weekends laying around. I am physically able to do it, but there's just not the WANT to do it. I have just spoken to my doctor about an increase (.once again) in my anti-depressant. I'm HOPING that helps.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Downandout123

Hey,

I have a news flash for you. You are following, and responding, to this thread. Think about what that means! You are already WANTING to do it!!!

Holy cow! With no drug increase to help! (laugh)

Since you work until 6, you already have the get up and go. It has not got up and went.

Best.

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