Feel like I'm sinking

[whatthefox]

I'm new here, I came looking for solace in community. I have a long history of anxiety and depression along with several physical health issues causing chronic pain and disability. I struggle every day to function on the most basic level, I.e. Household chores, cooking, paying bills, making appointments. I can't work anymore, which makes me feel worthless and useless. I have terrible anxiety about drs because of a slew of bad experiences but I have to find a way to make myself make phone calls and appointments to try and find a new dr. I guess my question is, how do you motivate yourself when you don't care if you live or die anymore? I know things need to be done but can't make myself do them, then I hate myself more for not being able to do seemingly simple things.

[Lonewolf0407]

Just because you can’t work this does not mean you are worthless or useless! Maybe try Yelp or some type of way to look at a Doctors rating. See which one is most popular with the best reviews. Hopefully this is ease your mind a little about the doctor. Just remember you are not useless.

[Sabio77]

whatthefox I am glad that you shared your story here. I know that it is difficult. I too have anxiety and history of depression so I totally relate. my friend. there are ways to help you rise above this. I sense your determination to get rid of these emotions for good. I would like for you to try what is called by some people "self-talk" or "self-love". now keep in mind that this is a process and you need to be patient with yourself. it is when you speak positive words to yourself when the negative comes at you. some people say that it is the demon. when you recognize it, say "no that is not truth". "you do not have control over me any longer." what you are actually doing is speaking positivity into your life. What a person believes is very important. what we believe attracts it. so, the thought that came to your mind good or bad becomes reality. I know this may sound crazy but it actually does work. You sound determined to stop feeling this way. so, that that strong determination and reverse that negative thought/energy and turn it into positive Productive energy. how? speaking positively, begin writing a journal, soothing music, aroma therapy, drinking water, taking a shower, sharing your thoughts/feelings on here and with a person you trust. letting out those emotions helps us heal. A negative thoughtful mindset makes a person, naturally because we are human, want to NOT do anything - depression. that is when the lazy mindset becomes the devils playground. i urge you to believe in yourself, focus on your strengths/talents/hobbies. i know that the motivation is low but you CAN do this. I believe in you my friend. i have been there and i know that it seems almost impossible but you CAN climb out of it. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. You were created with a purpose, you are valuable and worthy of any effort you put forth. here if you wish to talk privately. hugs of encouragement.