Hate

[Scatteredtulips]

I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate being the destructor of everything good in my life. I hate ruining everything. I hate being so weak to change. I hate ******* every bit of me. I wish I wasn’t here

[catharsis34]

I have felt this way a lot recently. But I am glad you are here. You have made me feel better simply from your responses to my posts. Just know that even when it doesn’t feel like it, other people need you. You make life better for others.

[Scatteredtulips in reply to catharsis34]

I needed this. Thank you

[lettingoffsteam]

That feels very strong.Can you tell us more about what has happened to make you feel like this?

[zperry4]

Hey you’re probably fine. Most people are pretty dumb and mistake-ridden sometimes. Its just being human. There’s no way you’re that responsible for how things around you turn out. And you’re definitely not weak, change is incredibly hard, otherwise we wouldn’t all have the same emotional problems our entire lives. Please don’t waste your energy hating those things about you that are faulty or whatever.

[Scatteredtulips in reply to zperry4]

I’m trying, it really is hard

[zperry4 in reply to Scatteredtulips]

No of course. Is there anything in particular that you have a hard time with?

[Molly417]

I keep telling myself things will get better and being able to talk about your feelings

[redteen36]

I understand exactly where you're coming from whether you believe it or not. I understand waking up everyday and hating how you look, how you act, how things around you are. But I promise you that you'd be surprised. I have come to realize that all the flaws that I worry so much about go completely unnoticed to the rest of the world. I promise you that you have plenty of redeeming qualities. For every time you have made someone laugh you made someone's day. You are better than you think you are. And for the record it takes a tremendous amount of strength to say that. If you need some help, I'm always here.

[Scatteredtulips in reply to redteen36]

So hard to get over those thoughts and beliefs

[bonkers65]

I know where you are coming from. I don't like myself either and it's really hard to change.

[Scatteredtulips in reply to bonkers65]

If only we knew what to do. How to get there

[10Irons]

I hear you. I just want to die. I wish I could just will myself to die and be done with it. I fucking hate myself and my life

[misty82 in reply to 10Irons]

I understand you so much!...The only things I enjoy in life are sleep and self harming.I wish myself to not wake up nearly every night. No point when you have NOBODY!

I have just got a jury summons for jury service and if they make me do it then that will be it!!

[AllTimeLow in reply to 10Irons]

I understand. I understand.

[Hidden]

Ok well that's a bit harsh How do u ruin everything

[FairyCakes7]

I know exactly how you feel. I too have days where I hate myself, days where I feel like I could explode with frustration, frustrated over all of my failings. I fight with myself daily to change and I never seem to win. BUT I know that I still need to be here and so do you. Baby steps. Sometimes we have that much to focus on that we just feel so lost. Choose one thing to change and forget everything else (if that's possible) work on that one thing for a few weeks (more if needed) and when you see you have changed that then, when your ready, move on to the next thing. This is what I have decided to do and I am going to work so hard to stick to it. We can do it. I hope you succeed in finding some inner happiness because you deserve it, we all do. Take Care of yourself x

[PNIAuthor60]

I am so sorry to read of such a deep and disorienting inner experience. I respect the courage you have shown in sharing so transparently with others. I can't help but wonder what you have survived in your life that has contributed to the way you feel about yourself.

[Antwaun]

I hate that you feel this way, and I wish there was something that I could do to make you feel differently about yourself. I hope things get better for you, sooner rather than later. In the meantime, be strong and know that you matter.

[romans]

Hello,

You have arrived at a positive decision point in your struggle. "you hate your life, and your efforts to change." Wouldn't it be great to give up the exhausting effort, after effort, after effort for change; just knowing it won't change. Self-effort, like New Years resolution seldom provide lasting, and satisfying change. Lasting, and satisfying change comes through a transformation that can only occur through the One who created us to have life 'abundantly.' Sound impossible? It is by our own self-effort, but not through Christ Jesus, Who will transform us when we truly trust Him. May I suggest that you start reading the Gospel of John, and get the book: 'The Power Of Right Believing: 7 Keys To Freedom From Fear, Guilt, And Addiction.' God has brought you to this point in your live for a reason; a good reason. He truly loves you. Keep in touch

[utep99]

Hard as it is to believe we all care about you on this page. You need to forgive yourself. God has forgiven all you have done and all you will do. Trust in Him because He wants you here and before you were born knew you down to the number of hairs upon your head. Trust God and all the destructiveness will go away! Will you make mistakes yes you will I do as does everybody does, But God has forgiven you as you are. In time you will find yourself moving closer to him. Give it a chance and forgive yourself as God has already forgiven you!

[mariahcw95]

Can I help?

[InSearchofSelf]

I am sorry you are feeling this. It sounds very painful. I can't change your experience, but I wish you healing and acceptance, like a warm blanket to rest gently on your shoulders.