Today was a bit rough, we were on a full lockdown and today there was an exception in order to get essential items , it was very crowded and i really hate people sometimes because of them being violent, and disrespectful and there was a fights and stuff so it was an overwhelming day, i have been forced to stay at home for about a week and going out felt weird and i had to walk alot, i kept it together though which was good, but i started to realize that i get alot of sort of delayed anxiety , i sometimes dont get anxiety during the stressful event but after, and tonight i have been feeling a bit anxious eventhough im home , safe, maybe its due to my health anxiety i mean going to an area where there is a virus breakout in isnt the most glamorous and i fear the worst sometimes ...
My obessive thoughts triggered a couple months back were back today for a bit, they seemed to go for so long then they came back ...i know its selfish to think this is all about me but sometimes i feel i cant catch a break like every time i start to feel better something happens, first it was the blood pressure obsession and anxiety, for months i couldnt overcome it and was at rock bottom, then the GAD and agoraphobia, then the ocd tendancies, and then i started my first therapy session and this whole pandemic stars,locking everything and making me locked up at home , in my country its a full lockdown and people are not allowed to get out, again this sounds really selfish i know im safe and healthy and its really screwed up to think its about me but i feel like my good mental health keeps getting delayed and its going on for years now, i do get some breaks of comfort and peace of mind ..but theyre so short lived
Also the fact that all my resit A levels are cancelled and everything i had planned pre university came to a hault and im worried about that, my migraines with aura are so scary as well , and just i im so pissed and scared at the same time because everything is going wrong, and everything being empty and being lockdown makes me feel very depressed and anxious eventhough i wasnt diagnosed with depression, but i guess thats normal with anyone so i shouldnt worry much right?
Stress over the world
Stressed About College
High job stress because of boss
Stress Test
Stress rash and need to be more disciplined 
