Laughter is the best medicine... πŸ˜† - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

96,481 membersβ€’89,562 posts

Laughter is the best medicine... πŸ˜†

β€’74 Replies

Hey everyone.. I need a laugh.. tell me your best joke/pun that you know right now please join in !!! Annnnd GO!

74 Replies
β€’
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Here's a true story that happened when my daughter was about 10 years old.

One night as she was doing homework, I was washing my hair in the kitchen sink

when she yelled out from the dining room "mom what does virgin mean". My stomach

dropped and I thought, of all times to hit me with a question about the birds and bees.

I thought for a moment and quickly called out "I hope it's what you are". *Figuring I'll

sit down with her later and have a talk.

Without a missed beat, she yells back to me, "No, not virgin, I know what that is"

"I mean version" Oh happy days :) From that time on, every time I wash my hair,

that thought pops into my mind and brings me a smile.

Life isn't always about being serious, sometimes we just need to embrace the laughter

it can bring. :) xx

β€’ in reply toAgora1

Haha!!! Love this story thank you for sharing!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54β€’ in reply toAgora1

Oh how great ha ha. x

MrZee profile image
MrZeeβ€’ in reply toAgora1

Agora1,

Reminds me of a funny story. Companies that have β€œobscene” words in their email(s) are instantly scanned, yanked and reprimanded.

Once the State of Virginia implemented this system. Well the mail servers instantly got overloaded and overwhelmed β€˜flagging’ emails considered obscene.

Virginia contains β€œvirgin” in it. And ka-bang... everyone got flagged! That actually made me laugh.

-MZ ❀️

Postmark profile image
Postmarkβ€’ in reply toAgora1

Now That’s a good one... a classic ... πŸ‘

fauxartist profile image
fauxartistβ€’ in reply toAgora1

That is hilarious....good one.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs? A wonkey.

The 7 dwarves were in the bath feeling happy. Happy got out so they felt grumpy. x

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

🀣 thanks!!!

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Scold

Scold who?

Scold outside. Let me in!

β€’ in reply toMrZee

Hehehehe !!!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

All this time, I had no idea you could yodel! 😝

MrZee profile image
MrZeeβ€’ in reply to

🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

Now that’s a good one!

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeβ€’ in reply to

Lovey it.

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Doctor doctor I’ve got terrible wind can you give me something.....yes said dr I can prescribe you a kite πŸ€ͺ

β€’ in reply toSillysausage234

🀣 I knew you would have some jokes !

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234β€’ in reply to

I’m going to bed will have a think tomorrow....goodnight 😊

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54β€’ in reply toSillysausage234

Oh dear that's terrible! πŸ˜€πŸ€£ x

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

She was on the bridge at midnight

Her legs were all a quiver

She gave a cough and one fell off

And floated down the river.

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

Hahahaha love this one !!!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54β€’ in reply to

Under the spreading chestnut bow

A young milkmaid sat milking a cow

Along came the farmer and gave her the sack

So she turned the cow over and poured the milk back.

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

🀣 omgggg This one has got me

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Mobile mobile in my hand

Who is the sexiest in the land

Mobile laughed and gave a grunt

Well it isn't you, you ugly ****

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

🀣

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54β€’ in reply to

If you want a very rude one I can't post here pm me. x

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

Always!

MrZee profile image
MrZeeβ€’ in reply tohypercat54

🀣🀣🀣

Postmark profile image
Postmarkβ€’ in reply tohypercat54

Now now... you meant β€œ blunt”.... hey, you should be punished .... ( ok... a sick attempt at humor... something very much needed hypercat54.... ROTF

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Doctor doctor I keep thinking I’m a pair of curtains...........oh jeez you need to pull yourself together πŸ˜€....bye

β€’ in reply toSillysausage234

πŸ˜†

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo who?

Voodoo you think you are?

β€’ in reply toMrZee

Hahahaha!!!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

You ..

you who?

Oh yoohooooo to you too πŸ‘‹

A man walked into the zoo. In the entire zoo the only animal was just one dog . It was a Shitzu !

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Rhubarb Ted

I knew a funny little man

His name was Rhubard Ted;

They called him that because he wore

Rhubarb on his head.

I’d grown so used to this strange sight;

The cause I did not seek;

But then one day to my surprise

I saw he wore a leek.

I asked him if he’d please explain

And let me know the reason;

He said β€œI’m wearing leek because,

Rhubarb’s out of season!”

Ann O’Connor

β€’ in reply tohypercat54

Loool aw Teddy!

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeβ€’ in reply tohypercat54

A keeper

MrZee profile image
MrZee

A cute poem from my childhood...

Eletelephony

Once there was an elephant,

Who tried to use the telephantβ€”

No! No! I mean an elephone

Who tried to use the telephoneβ€”

(Dear me! I am not certain quite

That even now I've got it right.)

Howe'er it was, he got his trunk

Entangled in the telephunk;

The more he tried to get it free,

The louder buzzed the telepheeβ€”

(I fear I'd better drop the song

Of elephop and telephong!)

β€’ in reply toMrZee

Awww love it !! Making me smile

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeβ€’ in reply toMrZee

I remember this one , still love it.

MrZee profile image
MrZeeβ€’ in reply tosweetiepye

When I was a kid we had a children’s book that has that poem. I wish I still had that book. 😊

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Great Idea!!! Here goes...Knock Knock...

β€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

Who’s there?

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3β€’ in reply to

Iva...

β€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

Iva who?

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3β€’ in reply to

Iva sore hand from Knocking 😊

β€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

🀣 awww

Postmark profile image
Postmarkβ€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

Iva what or who?

debindurham profile image
debindurham

1: Knock knock

2: Who’s there?

1: The interrupting sheep

2: The interrupting shee..............

1: BAAA !!!

Smile and stay well! Pass it forward !X

β€’ in reply todebindurham

🀣 love it thanks for making me smile

Not so much of a joke - but something to lift hearts from Spike Milligan

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I walked around the corner

And someone saw me grin

When he smiled I realised

I had passed it on to him

I thought about the smile

And then realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

So if you feel a smile begin

Don’t leave it undetected

Start an epidemic

And get the world infected

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3β€’ in reply to

Your right, I’m out there only if I need too I’m a at Risk Senior not seeing any Smiles😊. I get it, I’ve been watching things that make me Smile or Laugh. And doing things for others giving sanitizer or food to Seniors and Family members, that makes Me feel Good😊. I’m Struggling myself thinking what’s going to kill me First the Stress about the Virus or the Virus itself??? πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

β€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

πŸ’•

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeβ€’ in reply toWant2BHappy3

I've had the same thought and then decided I'll die in my bed of old old age.

β€’ in reply to

This lovely thanks for sharing

Junella profile image
Junella

My husband told me why people bought so much toilet paper--to wrap themselves in it so no one would come near them.

β€’ in reply toJunella

🀣 loool he might be right

Hi Hope the blessing from pandora's boxx

Hope your not Blond

What do you call a blond with an IQ of more than 1

Pregnant

x

β€’ in reply to

Lol

β€’ in reply to

Hi Hope springs eternal

I just wanted to say I really like that picture

there is something quite compelling about such expression with silence

Peace and good Karma to you

MaxV4 x

fauxartist profile image
fauxartistβ€’ in reply to

I love blond jokes, was one most of my young life....now it's the silver white or the bottle blond....I'm good with 'o naturel'....

β€’ in reply tofauxartist

O natural that paints a picture, would make a great pseudonym

x

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70

Husband and wife sitting together, he turns and says did you say something?

She replies That was 2 weeks ago!!!

β€’ in reply tosan_ray70

🀣 that’s me and my husband 😝

β€’ in reply to

2 weeks he obviously needs better reading materiial

x

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeβ€’ in reply to

same here

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

how do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

He leaves his footprints in the jello.....

β€’ in reply tofauxartist

Cuteee! Although this week I’ve only just noticed how small our freezer actually is .. why did nobody tell me πŸ€”

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

Whats green and red and goes a thousand miles an hour?

A frog in a blender....

* was a joke our 6 year old told us so please PETA friends forgive me.

β€’ in reply tofauxartist

πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚

β€’ in reply tofauxartist

Lmaoooo 🀣 risky!

lovetodance2018 profile image
lovetodance2018

Love this idea. Unfortunately I am not a comedian but I love to hear and read others jokes.

Too me the toilet paper disappearing out of the stores is funny., 😁

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70β€’ in reply tolovetodance2018

It would not be funny if you get a funny tummy!!!!!

I through a boomerang a few years ago... now I live in constant fear.

β€’ in reply to

that is very amusing a guys approach to sensible just cant stop throwing it away

what do you call a brunet sandwiched between 2 blonds

an interpreter

x

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

That's about my speed. Thanks !

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Best medicine for anxiety/depression

I need some advice from anyone who can help. I'm taking sertraline which has affected my sex drive...
Adeelkhalid17 profile image
β€’

The joy of laughter

Still not myself but my husband isn't working this weekend so at my request we are staying home and...
Mrspjsmom profile image
β€’

Finding the right medicine is tough

Seeing all these success stories people have with different medicines kinda brings me down well not...
Adamj profile image
β€’

My APUSH teacher is the best!

I was dreading my APUSH final(Advanced placement US history) but my teacher decided to be cool and...
coolkitty1934 profile image
β€’

Anxiety is getting the best of me

I've been suffering from anxiety/panic attacks for a few months now, the last 2 the absolute worst!...
Nia80 profile image
β€’

Moderation team

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.