Unable to control anxiety

[Horselover54]

Hello everyone. I am very much in need of some help. I did something wrong & I feel so badI can feel myself falling into the abyss again. I’m weepy, shaky, & can’t relax. What is this horrible thing I did? In trying to help someone, I mistakenly hurt their feelings. I didn’t say anything about them directly, but I did say some not so nice things about their relative. She told me off but good. I can’t take that. When I was a kid, if I did something wrong, my mother didn’t tell you nicely what you did wrong & how you could do better, she would attack me as a person, physically & mentally. As a result, I can’t take confrontation of any kind, but especially when I’m in the wrong. On top of all that, I just weaned off of Remeron & still going through some withdrawal symptoms...increased anxiety & nausea. I know I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but I can’t stop ruminating & can’t sleep & feel myself losing control

[tonkastoy]

i don't have any wise advice but i can tell you that you are not alone. there are people out here like me going through the same thing as you. we are not less then because of our differences. we are just as special as anybody else. i too spent the night ruminating after a conflict with someone yesterday. i'm just telling myself that this anxiety won't kill us and will make us even stronger. you will be ok and i'm appreciaive to you because you helped me get out of myself for a bit.

[Horselover54 in reply to tonkastoy]

Thank you tonkastoy. It helps so much to know that there are people who understand. I appreciate your support so much

[tonkastoy in reply to Horselover54]

i'm really glad that it helps. i do wonder how you're feeling now? my anxiety hasn't dissipated yet. i'm just looking forward to the end of the day when i can go to sleep. your name caught my attention as the city i live in now is all about horses. does it help calm you down when you spend time with horses?

[Horselover54 in reply to tonkastoy]

Sometimes. I show horses & that really ramps up the anxiety. It’s sad that the thing I most love doing also causes me the most anxiety, lol. My anxiety is a little better. My #1 biggest problem is that my self-esteem is way too dependent on what other people think of me. Unfortunately, I am constantly disappointed by people, so to say my self-esteem is low, is an understatement. Since someone is mad at me, I now feel like garbage. Ridiculous, I know, but there it is & I’ve not yet figured out how to overcome it

[Moonira in reply to tonkastoy]

Yes that's true . We all help and understand each other here. Yes you've helped me too. Everything I tell anyone on this site I must apply in my daily life. So thank you.

[Hidden]

I am bad with confrontation too. A wise psychiatrist told me many decades ago that writing a letter in a tricky situation is a good thing. In a letter you can explain and apologize. The receiver can re- read the letter a few times if needed then decide if and how they want to respond. Sometimes it takes time to settle the flames but when you are wrong, it is never too soon to say you were wrong and you are sorry. You will feel better about yourself regardless of how the other person responds. None of us are perfect, a smart person knows this, forgives themselves and asks the offended one for forgiveness. Quit beating yourself up, you need to b a good friend to yourself.

[Moonira]

Please go easy on yourself....we are humans and humans sometimes make mistakes. I'm sure you did not intentionally set out to maliciously hurt someone's feelings....be kind and compassionate towards yourself. I'm sure if a friend came to you in your situation you would show kindness and understanding.....sending you hugs, 💫👏💫