Has anyone here ever hurt anyone else during a manic episode? Not necessarily physically...I did some real weird stuff....posted stuff online about someone that was not true. I apologized. They forgave me...but I cannot forgive myself. I have since changed meds and I know I will never do something like that again.
Thanks.
People can be really nasty when they get manic it's part of the illness
I know...I was one of them. No rhyme or reason to my behavior. Wanted to talk to someone who has done something as stupid as me .... if I don’t forgive myself I don’t know what will happen.
Yes, I did. I fought everyone in a moment of manic psychosis. I fought my mil and tried to hurt her with an iron and I am not violent at all. Eventually they called the cops to get me but I did horrible embarrassing things that I would not normally do. Two months in a mental ward does wonders
Oh wow...two months in the mental ward...I assume you are all better?
From psychosis, yes, but ptsd from the horrible abuse and assaults at the hospital. It was an awful place.
Yes, I have.
Maybe this isn't what you mean by 'hurt' maybe you mean physically hurt someone? If so, no I've not physically hurt anyone.
But I have psychologically and emotionally really beaten my husband. I feel such shame and remorse and guilt for those episodes. It is the single most important reason for me getting back on medication (I took myself off when those episodes happened) and staying on medication.
I hurt someone via a social media post and am struggling to live with the shame and the guilt. I was never manic until I suffered trauma a few years ago. Silly question, but do any of your meds help you live with the guilt and the shame?
It's not a silly question. The medication helps with the depression, and keeps me stable.
That makes me feel like I am being a good person and doing the right thing for myself and my husband (so that I don't behave like a b*tch from hell again). So I get a good feeling that I am helping us both.
What helped the guilt and shame the most was ready a book called "Letting Go" by David Hawkins. If you download the sample from Amazon he outlines the technique of letting go in the free chapters. When I was sharing that post vestiges of shame re those incidences came up, and I had to do the technique then . It's nothing weird it's just allowing the feelings of shame to come up, and feeling them and not fighting them - then they just fade. There's a bit more to it, but that's the gist.
I will definitely need to look into that book as I cannot imagine living the rest of my life like this. I am 62...just retired and want to enjoy the rest of my life. I am in therapy and also may try EMDR therapy. Not sure if you have ever heard of that but it is supposed to help process traumatic memories.
Thank you for your response.
I'm 53 and the most stupid stupid stupid thing I have ever done was to refuse medication for the 10 years I was single/depressed/bulimic. Those years are gone to me. I didn't even take a notice of national or international news. I just lived in my own painful miserable world. So I am fully behind you in looking for anything that works to help you - so that you don't lose years to misery.
I don't know about your physical health, but if you are able to do DAILY exercise that helps me a lot. My brain, screwed up chemicals, and my genes will not be the same as yours. But whatever crackpot thing is going on in my brain it is made better by daily exercise. I go for an early morning walk every day. I have recently started run-walking (walk one minute, run one minute). The idea is to build that up over months to where you're running for 30mins.
I hear you. Ask for advice and find out what works for other folk. We are all different, but we are all the same. Good luck buttercup.
My story is complex....three years ago I was in the best shape of my life...physically and emotionally. Ten days before my son’s wedding, something unfortunate happened to me that changed my life. I have since struggled with anxiety, depression, ptsd and then add in the guilt and shame. The only drug that seems to help is klonopin which as we know cannot be taken every day. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Many days I fear that there is no hope for me but as I have a grand baby coming in the fall, I am trying to hold on for a miracle drug, therapy or something, anything.
I hope you continue to do well.
I am not being flippant when I say that there is hope. And I am not being flippant when I say to focus on the positives. Your new grandbaby is such a beautiful and exciting and wonderful thing. We are all sensitive and fragile. But we also have great strength and resilience too.
Maybe right now get a pen and paper and write down every single thing you are grateful for. Your grandbaby, a warm bed to sleep in, the taste of the toothpaste you use, the view from your kitchen window, the holiday you had in X when you saw the dolphins, the guy who works at the bakers who always chats to you. Whatever. Please do this. If you can only think of two things right now, that's OK. Keep the pen and paper out, and add to it as you think of something.
You are very sweet..thank you. I am tortured daily by what happened to me and what I in turn did in response to it. It all happened at what was supposed to be a wonderful time...my son’s wedding. I do have so much to be grateful for, I have so much to ‘get over’ .... the trauma, the guilt and shame, etc. It is all very difficult as I was once quite ‘normal’ and had anyone ever told me that I would. E dealing with this at my age, or any age for that matter, I would have told them they were crazy.
Yep. Maybe not outwardly, but I lied about things when I was younger because I was so lonely I wanted any kind of attention I could. It haunts me to this day. P.s youAREnormal
Yes. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure it bothers you way more than it bothered them. Especially since you apologized and sincerely feel remorse. Before being diagnosed during arguments on several occasions I punched my boyfriend and once stabbed him in the leg with a pencil. Nobody before or since has brought out this kind of anger in me. He just knows how to push my buttons and send me over the edge. Another time I was really upset and just wanting to vent about a situation w/o opinion or judgement and he couldn’t get that through his head regardless of the number of times I told him this. I opened the passenger car door and jumped out while he was driving about 25 mph down a gravel road. To this day I cannot believe I did this. If I heard of someone else doing this I would think they are a complete nut job! Believe it or not, I’m a pretty reasonable and normal person. That HURT! Later a psychologist explained to me that this was the “fight or flight” coming out in me. Apparently it was “FLIGHT”!
You are normal. Be nice to yourself!
Anyone ever feel discredited?
Has anyone ever dealt with agoraphobia?
Is anyone else worried about this?
Does anyone else battle these?
