Hello,. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else here, but it's happened to me more than twice so far and it sucks. When i answer someone's posting ( especially those that clearly express their need for help ! ) i pour everything i know into my reply including alot of sympathy towards this struggling individual who i can truly relate to,. And then never to hear back from this person. It's a defeating feeling. A feeling that i thought that maybe i could help someone out,.to left wondering if that person even read my reply! It just sucks. And now I'm hesitant to "possibly" waste my time trying to help someone out again? I DON'T expect a thank you speech, just some kind of acknowledgment that your efforts had at least been considered. This scenario has happened to me in this forum more than twice already and i just find it to be such a lack of common courtesy. At least give the person an acknowledgment to make them feel that their time and effort wasn't in vain that's all.
I'm left wondering? : Hello,. I don't... - Anxiety and Depre...
I'm left wondering?
Maybe they are unable to answer you? I think that perhaps any reply or answer offering support is appreciated perhaps not always acknowledged.
I think that answering someone is good for us as at times depression can cause us to be self centred and selfish... so thinking beyond ourselves to share experiences that could make the other see they are not alone are most definitely helpful and comforting. I also think that opening yourself up is great as it shows you are making progress in that you are recognizing things you may wish to not speak of but feel that pouting your heart and soul into providing comfort to someone suffering what you yourself felt/ been thru shows inner strength.
As much as you want acknowledgement perhaps when the other person thinks more of your words and later will realize that they did help them. Perhaps when you are having a total craptastic day and ask for support the same person you helped will return the favour. A kind word or words of support are never wasted imo.
Thank You for your insight. Please know that it's not about receiving a thank you, to me it's just knowing if my proposed ideas or techniques were found to be useful to this person or not, or if i explained things good enough. My personality is one of selflessness, and i get more gratification knowing that i was able to help out even one person. Your right, it is rewarding to the person who is providing the kind words of encouragement. Thanks Again.
Dear Tbine,
I can certainly understand the desire and expectation of receiving a response after wholeheartedly responding to them.
Some people here respond. Some don’t.
The positive aspect is when we respond we are writing and sharing which is good for our own soul.
I’ve responded to many here. Some have responded and some haven’t. At least I feel good that I’ve contributed with a caring response.
I hope this lends you some credence.
Best,
-MZ ❤️
Your absolutely right MrZee. I should of explained in my posting that it's not about getting a thank you, but rather just knowing whether or not the other person could make use of anything you proposed or not. Either way is acceptable to me. Or if they understood what you were trying to say, or had questions regarding your methods, etc. That's all. But it is helpful to ourself just sharing what we learned with our struggle. Thanks for your insight, it did help.
Hi Tbine,
Glad I could be of help. We here should always remember that this is Social Media. It helps, but the other person is online somewhere out in the world and not actually sitting right next to us. In an ideal world it would be great if we could see their facial expressions or literally hear their feedback.
However for being Social Media this is a very helpful and healing site.
Best,
MZ
Hello!
I’m sorry you have that feeling of helplessness when you are, indeed, trying to help another.
Don’t let it stop you from reaching out. I think that giving nice words to others can help us out more than we know.
For example, I got on here tonight because I was having a meltdown and feeling very low. I didn’t know what I was looking for or if I was going to post. Your post was the first one I read, and I felt compelled for reply. Answering you has put my mind as ease and allowed me to escape from my own depression for a while.
So know you are doing good- just maybe not in the way you thought. 
- Heidi
Thank you Heidi,. It's nice to know that you did help someone, even if indirectly. Like i replied to MrZee, it's not about getting a thank you,. It's about wondering if your proposed ideas or methods were found useful or not, or if this person had questions about what you proposed to them, etc.. That's all. I take every post that i feel i may be of help to very seriously because i been where that person is, and can relate to very well. So i make a point of not just give them a " i hope you feel better" and that's it kind of reply. I try to give that person techniques that worked for me in detail because i know how frustrating it is when answers are too vague to be of help from my own experience. Anyways, i still struggle with depression, but i try everything in my power not to get swallowed up by it. It's NOT EASY by no means, and requires alot of effort as you know. I started to view depression as a "force" (not a spirit or anything) in life that wants my suffering, and i refuse to give this huge negative the satisfaction of getting this from me. Lol i don't know if this will work? But i know i have to try something. Thank You again, i wish you the best in your battle to keep hapiness in your life.
I love the idea of thinking of depression as something you won’t let win! I will try to think of that in my really low moments.
Thank You. I have had to get creative with my depression, and i find that if i get angry towards it's ugly presence when it does show up, and deny it from what i believe it wants from me (to suffer) even though i know this isn't a person or thing i can touch. But by viewing my depression as "something" that i DO have control over and i won't give into suffering for it, sounds crazy but I'm willing to try it out. What's there to lose but feeling depressed. Let me know if this works for you.
Hi Tbine. I hear what you are saying, but think you are setting your expectations quite high for this type of “unaccountable” and open forum. Unfortunately, this may end up leaving you disappointed a majority of the time, and possibly frustrated to the point of dropping off the forum even? That wouldn’t be a good thing.
Like you, I would like to know that something / anything I said was helpful, or even read. But, that isn’t realistically going to happen. It just isn’t. But that’s okay with me. I understand what you are saying, and as a courtesy I do try to at least like the threads that are helpful to me....and respond to those that respond to me. But that is different that what my expectations are for responding to others.
I too, whole-heartedly, respond to those I can relate to. But, realize it isn’t only the original poster that reads what everyone posts, and the responses.
I consider it a what-comes-around-goes-around thing. I put my ❤️ out into the universe, in the form of a response (while also helping myself in my own journey) and consider the rest isn't up to me. If it helps, if it’s read, or if nobody cares. So I just don’t need to know. Lol.
For every person that asks for help, or posts in this format...there are many more that read, and are helped by both the original poster’s sharing...and ALL the responses. This forum wouldn’t work if no one responded. Right? So I figure that is my contribution to making the system work. No strings attached, no expectations...and might I also say...No disappointment!
I could be wrong, and maybe your responses will be different and get 100% acknowledgement...but this way does seem to work too. 🌞 🍄
Hello BrainFog-Ninja,. Thank You for your kind words and helpful insights. I do understand that no one here is held "accountable" to reply back or to even "like" my comments or on the extreme side, to expect a reply back is unrealistic. I simply was wondering if this was common here, and you might say that it was just hindsight on my behalf. I'm a very selfless person who will go the extra mile to help someone, but i would be lying to you if i said i don't like to know if i was helpful to this person, or not. This was my point with my posting,. Nothing more. Thanks again .
I understand Tbine. Answer: YES, it is pretty common NOT to get a response, it is also quite common to get a response. Lol. Sometimes what a poster says they want “help” with doesn’t turn out being necessarily the case. Nothing anybody can do to help there. Just sayin.
As post readers we should all take what we need, and leave the rest. As post responders we should leave what we need to, and keep moving forward.
It is also VERY likely that, at least part of, your response helps, at least, one person, ...even if it is someone other than the intended party? I understand where you’re coming from, and hope you won’t get discouraged in finding what works for you. 🌞 🍄 🦔
Oh this happens all the time on here unfortunately and I agree it is off putting. Even worse I have occasionally had new people having a go at me when I am just trying to help. Because of this I tend to stay away until I think they are OK, which is a shame but that's life. I also avoid people who have a habit of not responding as what's the point?
Try keeping your first response short then you haven't wasted too much time or energy on them. Also be aware that if a post isn't locked to this community (yours isn't either) that your replies can go viral and can appear anywhere on the net, so beware of giving personal information. x
Thanks hypercat54 for some good advice. Especially by keeping my first reply short . i usually only reply once though. I try and wrap everything up in one reply, i suppose that's part of my problem. Thanks again.
I always seem to forget to lock my response. I hope I have not given out too much info. Is there a way you remember to lock comments. I have to learn to develop that habit ! I just scrolled down now before I hit reply and see no way for me to lock to our community.
Well you have locked your 2 previous posts as the little padlock is showing next to them. However you can't lock your response if you reply to an unlocked post as it's up to the poster. I never give any responses on an unlocked post that I would prefer to remain private. I check first whether the post is locked or not before replying. x
Ok . Thank you for pointing that out.
hi it is unfortunate when this happens it is frustrating but it could be a few reasons why.
1 maybe the poster just replies to the answers more helpful to them.
2 maybe the user has missed your comment.
3 maybe they haven't come back on to be able to respond.
4 sadly some users do tend to bypass comments from certain users or posts even long term users as well as new ones although frustrating and it feels personal its still worth reaching out.
Thank you kenster1., your right. I just needed to know if this was something that was a common occurrence or not. The possible reasons you listed are some of the questions that the poster is left wondering about along with "Did i say something wrong?" Or "Maybe i said too much?" but i will keep reaching out.
I have seen new users who don't seem to understand that's it's rude not to acknowledge replies, or don't know what to say. A few are so self obsessed that they never consider others feeling and that can be part of their condition. x
I’ve never done social media as a rule because I know it would not be healthy for but being on here feels cathartic. I just post and let it go. No expectation but I’m pleasantly surprised when someone responds. I hope you keep posting 😊
Yes I can understand how you feel...
There is a strange world of people around replying to forum messages and social media messages in general in my opinion...
I guess or me, I need to not take it personally...but it’s difficult , so I wanted you to know I understand how you feel.
I’m the type that always likes to reply, if someone has taken the time and effort to reply to me..I’m very conscious of it...of course sometimes you can miss things, I know I may have on here but I do try and even if it’s just a thank you...I feel it’s courtesy...
I had something happen today in respect of replying to a text message ..this just prompted me to do a post around it
Best wishes to you x
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