Lost daughter

I lost my daughter to my abusers, they are my abusers now, a repeat. We used to be a loving caring family to each other. It never leaves your mind, even with all the therapies I been though for 14 years now. I have been under my weighted blanket for two days now with so much depression, and aniexty

[ruminating]

Hello ghi123 that sounds like a complicated situation. How did you lose your daughter? Trying to get a better idea of whats going on. Sending my thoughts and prayers your way.

[Hidden in reply to ruminating]

Thank you for caring. I was abused mentally, and physically ,as a child ,and adult by my mother, as my father, and siblings watched, and never did anything protect me. My father got 4 th stage cancer more then 14 years ago, I was the only one in the family taking care him, for six years ,12- 24 hr. a day . By this time, my daughters were out of college and on their own. My mother , and father were very rich, but she refused, or fired every nurse I hired to help me. She said I was the one who had to do it. I did his feeding tube, breathing machine, went to place no daughter want to go to on her father body, to put batches for bed sore, and many other things too. My father did not die of Cancer, he was in remission for 5 years, what killed him was the very strong chemo. When he died, my siblings, and my mother were cruel to me, and said terrible things to me too. So I decided it was time to disconnect from them for my health. I have PTSD, severe anxiety, and depression from my birth family. Before this happened I had the most wonderful daughter, we were very close, love each other, and care about it other very much. I was always a good loving mother to them too. But to my shocked those wonderful daughter went to be my with abusers, so that why my PTSD therapist told me they are my abusers now. I know with all my heart I could of gotten though this with disconnecting with my birth family, if my daughters didn’t do this to me. They remind me of them now!All their lives they saw, and heard what they did to me. They didn’t like them at all, before my father died.

[ruminating in reply to Hidden]

Hello im so sorry to hear that you are being abused again, this time by your daughter siding with your siblings. I would be very shocked also. It sounds like you were a very caring mother towards her. That must feel like the ultimate betrayal. Im so very sorry. Do you have any idea what may have persuaded her to listen to their side of the story? I am someone who believes in karma. You may see the day when your daughter comes back around to see your side. Until then i would keep myself safe from your siblings desire to scapegoat you, and continue with meds, therapy and building new friendships and support, such as here. You are not alone, i know what its like to be scapegoated as if your the abuser and its the other way around. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

[Hidden in reply to ruminating]

Well my daughters were closed to their cousins, they are all about their same age. I took care my nieces, and nephews all the time, was there for them always. They knew what was being done to me, but they didn’t care. Some of them told me they were mad at me not wanting to be with their parents, so I lost them too. I never said a bad word about their parents to them. That’s the only reason I can think of they wanted their cousins more then me. So all these years they stood by their parents side, and not mine me. It breaks my heart, it like losing a child to death. Thanks again for caring❤️

[ruminating in reply to Hidden]

Hi ghi123, So sorry to hear that your daughter has seemed to take her cousins side of things. I hope she is able to see the light someday, and appreciate how her mom has always been there for her throughout her life. I dont understand why people have to take sides anyways. Why cant she talk to her cousins, but still stand by her mom. If they made me choose sides that would make me not want to have them in my life. Sounds like your daughter has caved in to peer pressure. And thats a shame, you only get one mom in this life. Hopefully shes gains some courage and maturity with time. Im sending hugs and prayers your way.

[Hidden in reply to ruminating]

My daughter is 47 years old, this happened 14 years ago. She never has been like my birth family until then. I don’t have much time left for her to change ,I’m 68 years old, she has taken my life away from me, with this PTSD. Thank you for caring.❤️

[ruminating in reply to Hidden]

I can empathize with you. I had a friend for 24 years when she decided to cut me out of her life. Im not even sure why she did that, other than her own issues. She may have been jealous of the relationship i had with her kids, not sure. I was really close to her kids since birth and they called me their aunt. It felt like a death when she decided to cut them out of my life. They brought so much joy to my life and now in the blink of an eye they are just gone. Needless to say, she wasnt thinking about what it may due to her kids too, to have their aunt taken away. So i sincerely understand about how much that must hurt, for her just to leave your life like that. Its so unfair and i think she may regret it. Hopefully its not too late.