Need compassion please

[Dreamie]

I am experiencing deep emotional pain and fear right now. 10 days ago I crashed with anxiety. Was admitted into a day treatment behavioral health program. Medication changed. Learning/relearning coping skills. Group processing therapy. Have seen some much better days this past week. However, Friday, I guess being triggered by overwhelming thoughts of not being able to do and be what normal healthy me would be able to do this weekend and fear of going back to work in another week set off first deep sadness and then terrible anxiety. I’ve been in the grips of these feelings since Friday with almost no break. I have broken down several times crying and begging God for mercy from this pain. Although I’ve seen in the past that the pain eventually let’s up it feels like I cannot take a moment longer and I am frightened that I will be unable to handle this mental illness much longer. It has progressed greatly over many years. My hope for the future is very grim. Normally I am an encourager. I would try and give someone else experiencing this light and hope. It feels like I’ve lost it right now. I need hope. I need understanding. I need love and kindness. If you have some to share please share it with me. Prayers are much desired and appreciated.

[Depresseddoglover]

Oh honey! I'm right there with you in experiencing overwhelming, deep, emotional pain that I'm not sure I can stand a moment longer. But somehow I do and we do. I keep trying to pause the great sadness and go through the motions anyway, even though it is close to unbearable, exhausting and frightening. As of now I am tracking my moods every day from 0-10 and even though there are many 0 days I am acknowledging every improvement. There have been some 3's! Also some healthy distraction when I am spiralling - like a long walk while listening to a comedy podcast. Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way!

[Dreamie in reply to Depresseddoglover]

My friend thank you. I’m so glad you’ve had some relief at moments. Me too. It feels so wonderful to get a bit of relief. I am encouraged by you continuing to experience “life” while carrying this load. I want to do the same. I have been making myself participate in my life with family but GOLLY it is HARD sometimes. Blessings and prayers for you! ❤️

[Dreamie]

I am feeling just a bit better at the moment (2 hours later). I am grateful for this community. We have so much to offer one another! I am grateful for my home, my husband, my cat, color, coolness, warmth, my weighted blanket, the sun, FAITH...so much! I am grateful to God for giving me this moment and all my blessings! I hope for each and every one here to receive mercy and grace and love. ❤️

[Wiganladlovesapie]

Hi Dreamie I’m Andy. I’m so sorry that you are carrying such a huge amount on your shoulders. From some of your words I see that in the past you gave people who felt lost, hope. Hope & strength. That person hasn’t left, you just need a lot of support & understanding right now, & that’s ok. You are still a beautiful person with deep empathy for our fellow human beings. You’ll be back. We are here to love & support you. Lean on us. Talk & keep talking. I’ve thrown a little prayer up to the heavens for you🙏Take good care x

[Dreamie in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Andy, thank you so much for responding. For your thoughts and prayers! Means so much! 💕

[Wiganladlovesapie in reply to Dreamie]

You are so very welcome👍x

[bonkers65]

Will say a prayer for you.

[Dreamie in reply to bonkers65]

💕so grateful!

[Chen-A]

will defined include you in my prayers! I was going through the same thing with you honestly and yes the sadness and anxiety comes in waves, but we can get through this, it maybe hard to see it now but take it slow.

think of your family or your love ones, somehow they are thinking and loves you, this helps me a lot. hope it will do the same with you❤️

[Dreamie in reply to Chen-A]

Those waves!!😩. But yes there are breaks thank God! Thank you!!! 💕

[1973m]

Hi dreamie , seem to remember this was me last weekend.. so hand on heart, there is definitely hope ! I struggled all week but had a much better weekend.

I know how desperate you must feel right now . We are here and this site is amazing.. all I can say is take one moment and one day at Time . Keep the lines of communication open and keep talking.. is there anyone you are close to you can confide in ?

Take care x

[Ekyteach]

I'm miles away from you, but feel your pain just the same. Keep talking, and we'll keep standing with you until the pain eases. Yes, having a friend to speak with in person is helpful.

[Parkman]

Hi Dreamie: I hope your feeling better. As you mentioned in your post, things will get better. Be well and hoping for the best for you.

B

[Hidden]

Sending you LOVE and COMPASSION. May you feel even the smallest touch of blessing.

[Hidden]

Sending you Love