DP/DR, anxiety, agoraphobia

[Blake96]

Woke up this morning and as usual not any emotion or interest in the day. Living with depersonalization/derealization daily all the time for over a year now (along with anxiety and agoraphobia) it’s hard to be in a good mood. Mostly due to not having clarity in your vision and not feeling real or in touch with reality. I went to the gym in the neighborhood for about 30 minutes. First 5 minutes were the toughest but I’m just walking around the gym, feeling my symptoms of DP/DR and everything seems flat and just no emotion really. I wish it were easier to break out of this. I’d like to do this without medication (I’m on no meds currently). I feel the best help comes from people online such as here. It’s a very alone feeling, idk how to snap my body out of this strange view I have now daily which is the best way I can describe it. At first it was just anxiety and panic and then lead into being housebound then the worst of them all came constant DP/DR ... I don’t have any money so therapy and meds doesn’t seem like an option right now. I’m very eager to get help but I still don’t know exactly what’s going on with me. It’s certainly anxiety driven and has just built on itself over the year and a half I’ve been agoraphobic. I don’t and can’t imagine this getting any worse. The thought now is am I going to go crazy and end up in a mental institution which I know is not the way to think. Other that relate or know the best step into getting help for this that would be cool. I wish I could talk to one of you in person I feel that would help ground me a bit since I’m so in my head all the time with this it’s scary.

[Depresseddoglover]

I can sort of relate - I feel it impossible to get 'grounded' or become mindful (which I had been successful in doing over the last year). I try and meditate and do yoga and I just can't get clarity or perspective. My head and thoughts are constantly foggy and I feel like a zombie. I am going through the motions everyday and feel very depressed and anxious because I am missing out on beautiful opportunities. I am currently on vacation with my family doing objectively wonderful things but I feel nothing positive or pleasurable. In fact, every interaction takes every ounce of will power to push through it. I am also afraid that I will end up agoraphobic because socializing is so difficult and distressing and I feel like I am draining everyone else's energy.

[Blake96 in reply to Depresseddoglover]

My agoraphobia came from anxiety and panic and then it led to the DP/DR or foggy perspective. Some people I can have these feeling without anxiety which I think it easier to overcome it rather than try to overcome this while dealing with anxiety which is what my case is. I can’t even go 10 minutes away without a panic ensuing.

[Blake96 in reply to Blake96]

And the panic now stems from my symptoms of DP/DR and the feeling of foggy ness and just how unreal life seems and at home is where I feel the most comfortable dealing with the emotions. Trying to break the cycle but no success yet

[Depresseddoglover in reply to Blake96]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I also feel like life is not real sometimes or that it is an illusion. Especially because I participated in a few ayahuasca ceremonies where I hallucinated for 10 hours and I "saw" and experienced inexplicable things, so integrating back into 'real' life has been a confusing challenge.

[Hidden]

I dunno maybe you’re just on autopilot from prolonged stress. Maybe you can take some herbs. I find planning your day ahead so you know what to do. Like today vacuum wash floors. Make calls to this that place. Tv break lunch break. Plan out your meals for the week buy the groceries. Just small stuff go out the the store. Walk to a certain place reward yourself during or after. Go to bookstores look at books every one else is just doing their thing there too. Reading books to help your condition what set it off?? Library has books for that or if you can buy books workbooks are good for that as it’s proactive. They’re written by doctors so that’s a good start !!