Newbie

[Sbrooke]

Hi all, I am newly registered.

I have a 12 year history of depression and an 11 year history of anxiety. Also some OCD.

Went for counselling once when I was struggling to cope with my other illnesses. Been on and off anti depressants over the years and I had what my stepdad calls a “nervous breakdown” in 2016.

Right now I should be happier than how I feel - but I’m not.

I’m in a job I hate - I was told it would be the perfect fit for me but instead I have customers shouting down the phone to me and generally being aggressive. I wasn’t told about that in training. One customer called me today and despite me doing everything I could for him and going into clear enough detail, he still wasn’t happy. My manager had to take over the call.

Errors I make are small and minor, but they’re enough for me to feel like I’m stupid. My eyes are now tearing up and I’ve already had to go off for a good cry this morning.

My managers are otherwise very happy with me but I’m not happy with me and I know it sounds daft but that is how I feel. I came close to walking out of the building today and never coming back.

I have become forgetful, emotionless, tired, and having dreams involving jobs ending and my friends being escorted out of the building after they’d been sacked.

Of course, I have physical symptoms too, but I don’t know if they’re part and parcel of the depression or anxiety or not. But they do worsen when I get stressed like this.

Some mornings I feel like texting my manager saying I’m feeling too unwell to be in - and to just have a day of rest as I’m perpetually shattered but I still drag myself into work anyway, with my dark black, puffy eyes. I look like I haven’t slept in a month.

Thank you for letting me join and reading my thread.

[LiveandLetLive42]

It sounds like the job is the main issue here. Maybe it's time for a change.

[Sbrooke in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Hi, yes. I agree. I chatted with my representative today and she has put me and my other friends in the team forward for a new position in the building.

Most of them have complained about how they believe when our current assignment ends, they have nothing to go to and have blamed the agency. I have just kept out of it and done what I was there to do.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to Sbrooke]

I think it will make a huge difference all around!!

[Hidden]

What will make you happier? You put a lot of emphasis on your job, maybe this is a larger problem. Find another one... Don’t walk out on your job, find another one while you got this one, no need to add financial problems to the mix.

If you’re depression and anxiety are causing you poor quality of life, getting these managed and finding coping strategies will help tremendously.

[Sbrooke in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. As well as this my physical health has suffered and my illnesses have gotten worse - my hypothyroidism mainly.

[Hidden in reply to Sbrooke]

Don’t let your health deteriorate, physical health effects your overall well being and effects us mentally as well. Get that checked out ASAP.

[Camper2020]

Wow so sorry to hear. I've walked off many jobs from my I'll was controlling.me, action's, an thoughts. It stinks, I'm only comfortable working alone or with very lil people as it seems they make my illness worse just having.to.deal.with them daily on.an.off the job. Thank God 🙏 I'm able to meet my basic needs without having to work right away but for those who have to work wow cudos for being so strong. I've been dx for over 30 yrs now of suffering. I wish i had a job like you tho cause it would keep my brain off of nonstop thoughts that bring me down. I can't seem.to win with working or not working. My mission with this illness is to somehow reinvent myself try to become someone new sick or not. By replacing the.things I dont like about myself with a new positve one. It will take awhile but you gotta start somewhere. Glad you reached out to us on here an.we can be of some help. I will follow you on here

[abc30]

Apparently your problem is your job, but in reality it is not. The main problem for us here is our-self and the others living people we interact with. On the other hand we need a job to pay bills and doctors and to allow us to live. It is true that we need to work harder then health people because we need to fight with our problems.