Hard time

[Gillyflower18]

I’m just trying to endure wave after wave of anxiety right now. I had a very difficult session yesterday and finally was able to admit how incredibly angry I am about my whole life. I cried for a long time in that session. It was a relief and gave me a space of calm for a while. My therapist wisely said don’t expect a miracle cure. It took a long time to get this bad and it’s going to take a lot of work to sort it all out. She was certainly right. How have any of you dealt with buried anger. What coping skills worked for you? My therapist said to start by substituting the word anger for anxiety. It’s amazing what that brings up. Anger can be paralyzing.

[UnderstandingMyPain]

I agree Anger is very paralyzing! I held on to anger for years but it was hard for me to pinpoint the “why”. Once I realized my anger was about my mom and being in a toxic marriage that’s when my healing started which was about a few months ago. What helped me was working through the problems which is sounds like your doing in therapy. I also read and listen to a lot of inspirational and motivating things. Self talk of positive affirmations were important to me as well.

[Gillyflower18 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Thank you. We sound very similar with regard to parents. This was the first time I allowed myself to admit the anger. It’s been 50 years in the making and I’m just facing it now! Hopefully it’s a turning point. It was good to see that letting it out actually made a difference. I’ll add some positive affirmations to my routine maybe they’ll sink in.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Gillyflower18]

Yeah growing up in a household with a mother that belittled me and appeared to never be happy with anything for years does take a toll on me emotionally and mentally. I actually thought yesterday I wish I knew back then (which I know at a child it would be hard to identify the meaning behind behaviors) what my mother was doing maybe I would be better equipped today emotionally. Your therapist is right it took years to get you to the point of your current feelings and it’s going to take some time to move away from them. I know it will get better for you especially since your proactively taking steps to deal and heal from the scars. Your on the right track!!!!

[Gillyflower18 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Thanks for the encouragement. I’m getting all teary again. Anger coming out again. It’s just so unfair that we as kids had to endure this.

[Hidden]

I had anger for years. I would yell at a TV show with an abuser on it, saying what I wanted to say to my brother. I was very aggressive on a job voicing my opinions too much until I got fired. Then I yelled at them on the phone until they got a protective order for harrassment. I was like that until I was eventually hospitalized after a breakdown. I changed this by forgiving my abusers in my heart, not to them. I let it all go. I'm much more peaceful now. I rarely get angry about anything anymore.

[Gillyflower18 in reply to Hidden]

I agree. I just haven’t been able to get that far yet but I’m trying!

[Hidden in reply to Gillyflower18]

You will get there.

[lillyofthevalley37]

Yet anger is an energy according to John Lydon

Anxiety sounds like a life sentence

[Gillyflower18]

My therapist says anxiety is the symptom not the actual problem anger is. You won’t believe this but my cat actually jumped up and smelled my tears. Very sensitive!