Made it through Christmas 🙏🏾

[LordKnowsImTrying]

How many of you survived with a little sanity and less anxiety?

[kenster1]

I survived that's the important thing for me.

[hypercat54 in reply to kenster1]

Yeah me too! x

[kenster1 in reply to hypercat54]

lots of chocolate to burn off over the next few days it could have been worse mind you I managed not to eat a full box of roses only the half thought I was going to explode.

[LiveandLetLive42]

Haha I survived!! It's always so weird when it's over though. We get so amped up and stressed out and then it's over!

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I even did well seeing the pictures of my kids and grandkids at my ex’s with his wife having a great time. It’s over. (Sigh) yay me! Yay us!

[LordKnowsImTrying in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Reading this gave me anxiety. Im so glad you made it!

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to LordKnowsImTrying]

I’m sorry!💛

[Hidden]

Our Christmas turned out really good. At nearing 67, Im playing the “ Im getting older” card and no longer host the event, food ect. As hosting causes me more anxiety. So one son has us over for breakfast and we enjoy watching his 3 kids open gifts. Later in the day we go to oldest son’s for dinner and watch their 4 older kids open gifts and end up watching a movie. This is the first year my husband wasnt is a big rush to leave after dinner. Everyone was in a good mood thruout the day and I totally enjoyed it.... no one was more suprised than me as Ive been in a rut all fall with physical issues that trickle in to mental issues. Maybe I was over due for some fun😉

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Hidden]

Go have some fun😁

[Hidden in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

👍🏻

[MrZee]

I must say it feels so wonderful walking into a store and when I’m finished without XMAS carol background music stuck in my head for days.

[LordKnowsImTrying in reply to MrZee]

But that Mariah song is my fave 🥰

[Hidden]

I survived, that's about it. Not for lack of pre-attempts at not being here. You know, put on the hangmans noose and make sure it fits well, the rope slides easily. Then set it aside for later. Put the bucket away. Anxiety? Nope. My Dark Passenger is still with me (borrowed that from "Dexter"). Groundhog day every day. Still in my burrow.

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

Gosh I can so relate to the groundhog day feeling. Even Christmas day, boxing day I was filling my same old same old routine. Even the same old same old thoughts and feelings running round and round my head. The feelings of being better off not here as everyone seems to just move on around you hardly noticing that you there.

I wish I had a friend to rant to or to talk to but i have no one who understands. My mental health nurse hasn't even made my next followup appt so I dont know when I'm seeing her which is stressing me out.

Everyone (family) keep going on about 2020 being better - but nothings changed how can it be?

[Hidden]

I'm fortunate(?) in having no family, retired, live alone. No one would really be affected if I never surfaced again. Kaytee I loved that you used the word "rant" as I often do so myself. So if you wish to rant and vent about anything, I may not understand but I will be here and listen to you. We seem to have common ground. Sorry but I'm glad to have another pal in my suffering. Just to let you know I'm borderline personality cluster B sociopath. A bit of anti-personality disorder, anxiety/panic attacks, chronic depression and bodily pain. However I will be truthful and honest with you: I have nothing to gain, referring to the sociopathy. If I cannot be truthful I will defer an answer. I take it you're in the Commonwealth. I'm in the States but a big fan of Great Britain and all it's peoples scattered about the world. If 2020 is better I would be pleasantly surprised, if that's possible. I'm not holding my breath waiting for a neon rainbow and a overflowing bank account. A magic anti-depressant pill would be nice. Take care, write back if you like.

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

I will reply and indeed 'rant' but I need to process my rant first my thoughts are brimming over at the minute as I've not seen my mental health nurse since before Christmas and that was jointly with the psychologist. I have no friends to talk to. I am indeed in the uk. I have been told I have treatment resistant depression and anxiety disorder but autism was mentioned on my last admission to hospital! I'm married but in the co-habiting sense only and have 3 girls (15,12, 8).

A magic pill would be amazing for 2020 - my eldest wants to go into medical research maybe she'll discover something (few years to go mind!?)

I've become increasingly agoraphobic over the past few months - I'll do what I need to out but nothing more, I find I get anxious and my thoughts are particularly bad in the car - which I guess isn't the best lol!

I'll be back in contact to rant, life just shouldn't be like this - I wish it was all gone - I was all gone.

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

I just returned from the store to pick up some food items. I cook up a pot of beans and meat or so and freeze the excess to dine on later when I don't feel like cooking. I'm thinking I may be bipolar to an extent cause I get on these binge rants about nothing really. I guess it's a side effect of not having a companion for a sounding board. Don't worry about organizing your thoughts, just let them flow. And I'm holding out hope that I live long enough to take advantage of your daughter's miracle drug. Thanks for that! Agoraphobic how well do I know thee. I go to the post box if the mailbox door is open cause I know the mailman has been there. They never close it. If it's not open I have no reason to go outside, so I don't. Just this trip to the store for less than an hour took two days to plan and carry out. Life should not be like this. I blame it on the conservative powers that be to deny proper healthcare to it's citizens. Hang around a bit longer. I feel that we have much to discuss. Take care my friend. Tell me about it.