Anger and depression

[quitter333]

You know how they say that suppressing emotions can lead to depression? That is very true. The classical example of a man being bullied around by boss, comes home, bullies around his wife, wife bullies around the child, and the child eventually kicks a dog. And if we keep it inside and don't find a creative of physical outlet we can get a very real depression. Guys usually start drinking a lot. Girls sometimes start doing sports to a level it becomes unhealthy for their social and physical life.

... but there is a way to kill off the seeds of depression early on...

So, the story I went through today was this - I had a wonderful morning, a bit hasty, but everything went smooth. Got up at about 6AM and got everywhere on time etc. During the day met a relatively old guy (15y older, but looks like 60 (this age valuation will make sense further)) who we do cooperation with in business. He at some point got really angry and loud and was dissatisfied with some minor issues. Loudness as I had noticed before was his go-to thing to intimidate people. I was not intimidated, but this outburst made me really angry at the moment. So angry if I was not that extremely composed, I would have punched him in the face.

.. so.. I mended the things required, but felt extremely distressed about it, I felt my honor was touched there. I felt mix of anger, suppressed depression, I had thoughts about literally breaking the guys neck (I am not a thug thankfully for him).

I also felt my good mood was ruined and it pissed me off even more.

BUT

..

Here's the saving grace. I thought and thought about what am I doing even talking to him, I don't need his assistance in projects THAT much, and I actually do very well myself with managing and works.

I thought and thought and had all the negativity in my head (I could almost feel it boiling in my skull due to blood pressure) and then it hit me.

- I need to remember, that for this older dude, there is nothing else in life. NOTHING. He has no other skills, he is too rude to be liked by random people, he is too old to change life dramatically, he is an average manager, and he has really low skills at setting greater visions, and have seen him doing this work almost no vacations for years.

I then instantly lost my anger and depressive feeling, because I UNDERSTOOD HIM. He has nothing else in his life and that is why he gets so emotional about his work. I pitied this man, who was trying to intimidate me few hours before. He was actually a good man, but socially dumb.

That is how I killed off my anger in a very healthy way, without suppressing it.

And this is my today's lesson

- IF YOU HATE, ARE ANGRY OR DISLIKE SOMEONE, AND THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD, TRY TO THINK - WHY THEY ACT LIKE THAT. Maybe it is not you, but everyone who gets burned. Maybe they really care about something and literally lack skills to explain it positively.

I almost snapped back to not feeling depressive in a second. It was weird feeling, but it appears that COMPASSION is a very good thing to try.

Of course you shouldn't take shit from other people, but you shouldn't keep their negativity inside you after that. This is something straight out of the stoic philosophy I often recommend. Contemplate , but don't be moved by external things.

[Tellmeaboutit]

thats a great post, thanks!

we all know that we shouldnt let negative people drag us down, but its sure hard at times. my boss was on my case recently (not living up to my potential- depression, go figure.) then last week we had it out, and i realized that he was really coming from a position of concern (something going on with you?) realizing that helped me deal with it all more constructively.

your thoughts remind me of a Moody Blues song along those lines: The Balance. its a good listen.

[Hidden]

Hi quitter333. Was listening to Ekhart Tolle last night. He was saying the same thing. Thanks for this post x