Confused pt 2

[hitbyasegway]

I feel like I don't want to live but I'm terrified of death. I just want to lock myself away from everything. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I'm not going to hurt myself or others I just feel hopeless.

[Hidden]

I once heard this quote that said, "Depression is the fear of living, but it is also the fear of dying." I know I feel like that sometimes.

[Gjkas in reply to Hidden]

You know, i am so very depressed.

But I'm truly not afraid of dying,,im more afraid of living because I know what tomorrow's gonna bring. Just more pain and the Doctors have told me there's nothing else they can give me for this horrible pain. They want to take my Gallbladder etc out. But they've told me that it won't help my quality of life much.

So I'm asking myself, (Well Why Bother ).

Then I think of my Husband and 3 Sons

and I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.

I used to be able to make vintage style dolls dresses as a hobby to help take my mind off things, but my hands are so painful that I can't even do that now.

All my get up and go, have got up and gone,as the saying goes.

[Hidden in reply to Gjkas]

How about this one," I live in a body that fights to survive, and a mind that wants to die."

[Gjkas in reply to Hidden]

That saying is so right. I've never heard it before. If the Doctors could just come up with something to help my body. I know that my mind would want to survive.

Even though I am not afraid of dying.

[Hidden in reply to Gjkas]

Yes, I like to google quotes in my free time

[Gjkas in reply to Hidden]

That is such a good quote.

I still have it in my head.

[Starrlight]

Hi Hitbyasegway. Me too, exactly. I’m having the same feelings. I’m sorry you are in so much pain. You are not alone. Is there anything you would feel like doing that can distract you like a hobby? I have no motivation right now.

[Boomba76]

Hang in there!! You are not at all alone. We feel your pain.