New and need some perspective

Hey everyone,

This is my first post here. I’ve been struggling with recurring suicidal thoughts lately. They play on in my mind like a mantra, almost offering me some sort of relief from a constant strain brought on from thinking in the back of my mind that I don’t belong in this world or that I am too weak to deserve anything good. In addition, I can’t seem to break out of this bubble of thought where I feel like everyone must be talking about me behind my back, or that I and my individual experiences don’t matter unless someone else can validate them, or that I’m a loser in some way. There isn’t too much proof for any of these feelings, but I still feel them. I think they arose due to repeated childhood bullying. Can anyone else relate to this? I really don’t want to feel so insignificant anymore. I want to accept that the world is cruel but be okay with myself in it. Does this make any sense?

[Mia51]

Hi there,I’m no professional but you sound like me.I have low self esteem and always think people are talking about me.Depression can distort your thinking and if your a sensitive caring person you can feel like that.Only way I cope with this cruel world is to keep away from most people.What about nature and the love of animals,they never let you down.Dont be hard on yourself,try and accept the way you are.take care and hugs to you

[SheWrote]

Hi there... first off, I want you to know that you are so amazing! And, I can tell you that believing just that is something that can really help you build your self esteem and how you look at yourself. I know it is hard. I have been there, but thankfully, I am so much better now. And instead of hiding from people, I have found that I truly enjoy people and getting to know them AND let them know me! So, find someone to talk to, let someone in, Just like you have here. You will soon find that all that stuff in your head is just lies and you are SO MUCH MORE !!!! HUGS!!!