Hitting another low point

[CatalinaGhost]

I am a 26 year old woman who has hit another low point in her life. After two years of not having any suicide ideation or dark thoughts, they all came flooding back in. I recently had to sacrifice my time to get a stressful job in order to support my husband and I after he lost his job, and I feel so exhausted and drained. I don't enjoy a lot of my favorite activities anymore. Yet, I feel guilt about having these thoughts and expressing these feelings since I know that I've been through far worse, and I feel like I shouldn't be complaining about it.

[Boomba76]

Never feel like it is complaining. This is an illness and talking about it sometimes is all we have to make us feel just a little bit better. Hang in there!!

[Poodie]

Depression is so scary. I have been depressed off and on my whole life. I know I used to say that I would never commit suicide because I would never hurt my husband and kids in that way and I meant it. Then just recently when I became depressed, I started to think that they would be better off without me. It really frightened me to see how quickly I could slip into that thinking. It is a very scary disease for everyone concerned. We should all fight it and support one another. No one will be better off if we die. No one.

Poodie

[wantobefree]

Whatever feelings you have, it is ok, they are your feelings and they should be aknowledged and accepted, nothing to feel guilty about.

You are not complaining, you are tired and drained and with good reason. You wish things were different, better. That is normal. It is good to want things better.

It is good to pin point what we want and then work towards that change. If we don’t express how we feel and what we want then we would be stuck were we are and be unhappy always.

So let it out, change is coming.

[Poodie]

How are you doing ? I just re read your post and the replies. I am in a somewhat similar situation. I too feel as if I have no right to complain. I am angry about circumstances that I know can not be controlled and I want my husband to stop something he can’t stop because he has no control over it and he has a prof. obligation to see it thru. It s been over a year of thinking, o k this will settle down but no. He is dealing with a whole group of people who thrive on drama and their craziness is affecting our life at a time when we could be taking it easier because we are getting old.

It has gone on and on and feels like it will never end. It has messed up plans we made and is taking priority over everything else. I highly resent it. I am so angry about this. I’d like to tell these people what a bunch of a holes they are. I keep expecting it to get better and feel constantly let down because he thinks it is ending and then it doesn’t.

I have let myself get depressed and worn out. I feel he has put everything beneath this as a priority, including me and he has. I somehow feel he let it happen, but that is like blaming someone for getting involved with a narcissist who ruins their life in the process. The aftermath doesn’t magically go away. Maybe I think he should have known better.

I think I am stuck with it. Maybe letting my anger out will help but I have to move on from that too.

If you find something that helps you, let me know. Good luck to you.