Is this normal?

[Phobia64]

I have a lot of fear and anxiety. I feel like my body is falling me. Anyone else feel like this?

[Hidden]

I feel the same. I hate to leave the house. The reason I dont want to anywhere is I dont want to see anyone I know cause I hate when they ask are feeling any better? I dont know why that bugs me so bad. My body is kind of failing me, I have a bad spine, that's why I am in this depression

[Phobia64 in reply to Hidden]

Same. I hate when people ask how I’m feeling.

[Hidden]

I think its normal for us. Will we ever get over that feeling, I dont know.

[Phobia64 in reply to Hidden]

I hope we get better. How long have you had this challenge?

[Saltwater]

I can certainly relate. I have suffered anxiety and depression for decades, since being bullied at school, but lately, it has really got hold of me. I was diagnosed with hashimotos last year and have got worse and worse since being treated for it. My anxiety has gone through the roof and I have had my stomach, heart and bladder checked and ended up having panic attacks that something is really wrong with me.

I have had so many tests and they find nothing else wrong with me, but I feel dreadful. My body aches all the time and I am aware of shooting and stabbing pains, chest tightness, my heart is often racing or skipping beats and I feel riddled with anxiety.

The doctors think my problems are down to my anxiety but if that's the case, why have they only got so bad lately? Why not all those years ago?

Since my thyroid packed up, my body has been riddled with pain and my mind is always tuned in to the pain that I feel. I feel every little thing that my body does and I hate it. I am really aware of everything and my heart beat all the time and I can't switch it off.

This last year has been horrible. I was better before my diagnosis. I only had depression and anxiety and now I have so many health issues as well.

I also hate it when people ask how I am and I think this is because you know that most people aren't really asking out of a genuine concern for you. It is just being polite and a social formality. Nobody really wants to hear how crap you are doing and how you struggle.

You learn that society doesn't want to hear the truth. Lies are pretty and the truth is ugly. They want you to just pass yourself off as fine and carry on. That's partly why we learn to just lie and say we are fine. We bury it all and save our suffering on the inside. If you do tell someone the truth, that you have been struggling, it is so awkward and you just get pity which makes you feel worse.

Can you imagine how the conversation would go if you started saying things the way they really are! People who genuinely care, don't tend to ask this of you because they already know what you are going through. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable either and exposed and this is exactly how I feel when I let people in. I feel judged and feel like all they see is the depression.

Besides, it's often easier to keep face around most people. It helps me to have some people not know what you are going through because it means I get to pretend to be okay and fit in. If everyone knows, then you have to talk about it and people treat you differently.

Passing myself off as okay is good for me sometimes as it means I can often forget about the depression and faking it often leads to a small respite from the negativity that can creep in when you are allowed to slip back into yourself. That's why it's often good for depressed people to mingle with those who are not depressed as it helps them to escape their own minds. It's good to have the company of those who relate and who understand but you need a healthy balance to get well and so you also need to be around people whom you tend to push yourself for as this helps you to get out of the negativity even if just for a small while.

I also am riddled with fear and anxiety. Some days, I don't want to leave the house and at night, I can't sleep. I worry so much and it consumes me. I want my sanity back. I isolate myself and worry that people can tell the way I am feeling. I honestly feel like I am walking round with a t shirt on that says I am different and I go out of my way to prove that I am the same, always smiling and trying to stop people from seeing what's really going on.

Heaven forbid my life gets more complicated.

People expect you to just get well too, so there is pressure to say you are feeling better when you are not. Even with the GP, you feel you should be improving and they ask are you doing better, you feel like you should say yes because the medication is meant to work.

The fact is, you can suffer from depression all your life. There is no quick fix, even with medication. Sometimes, to a certain extent, you have to learn to live with it, and all the questions of how you are doing don't help you feel any better because there is a wall between you and them and that wall is there because of a lack of understanding about what it really means to have mental problems.

Hope you feel better soon, but if I see you, I won't ask you how you are doing!

[Phobia64 in reply to Saltwater]

Thanks for sharing your story. I have hashimoto . I’ve had it for 15 years. Blood test shows that my antibodies are very high., I don’t have pain but I’m extremely weak and tired.

[Saltwater in reply to Phobia64]

Sorry to hear that. Have you found out what the triggers are for your hashimotos? Some people including myself have found some relief from following a gluten free diet and reducing stress. When you have Hashimotos, the medication you take will only help with the symptoms, but it does nothing for the cause. In order to really feel well, people find that they have to address the antibodies and we can do that by reducing the continued attacks on our thyroid.

A lot of the time, it is gluten that is the culprit.

Gluten looks like thyroid tissue to the body and when we consume it, our on alert immune system starts attacking the thyroid gland which causes more thyroid tissue to be destroyed. This makes the thyroid release hormones into our blood which can make our blood tests look like things are improving, when really they are not. What happens is that after each 'attack' your thyroid is left with less and less tissue as more is destroyed each time. Each time you are left with less and less thyroid tissue.

Even if you are not coeliac, you can still benefit from going gluten free as this could prevent further attacks on the thyroid and this is good because it helps you to stabilise your levels more. If you continue to just take levo, then you will treat the symptoms, but not really the cause and your thyroid will keep being depleted and this will keep antibodies in your blood which is a sign that your thyroid is still under attack.

Certain vitamins and minerals have also been linked with reducing the antibodies and these are selenium and vitamin D.

If you like, you can take a look at the page I have linked. I hope that you can find some relief by tackling the antibodies. If we only do what the doctor tells us and take our levo, then we will never really halt the symptoms of hypothyroid for very long. Studies have shown that people can resolve many of their symptoms by taking their levo and using the methods noted on this page.

healthcentral.com/article/h...

Hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon. xx

[Phobia64 in reply to Saltwater]

Thanks! I found what you wrote very useful:). Also, thanks for the link. I really appreciate your support.xx

[thyroidmom84 in reply to Saltwater]

I can relate to you both, especially to Saltwater as I haven’t felt the same since my Hashi’s diagnosis. Every week it seems like a new, weird symptom. Some they say are normal and some “atypical.” I am always worried something else is wrong but all my tests come back fine. It has been very stressful and I have almost adopted an apathetic attitude towards my health at this point (which part of me thinks is a lot healthier than the super paranoid one I had prior).

[Saltwater in reply to thyroidmom84]

Me too. My anxiety has really gone through the roof lately. It is very hard to separate symptoms of anxiety from all the other stuff I go through. I know I probably make myself worse with anxiety, but I'm not the sort of person to fabricate things as I hate attention. Before my diagnosis, I hadn't been to the GP's for years, and had missed 3 smear tests because I hate going to the doctors. Now I am there all the time and no one knows what to do with me. I think they want me to just recover and go away but if I don't feel any better then that puts the blame on me which makes me feel worse.

I have so many weird symptoms and I don't know what is causing them. I think with the Hashi, that one thing leads to another. People say you need hormones for every cell in your body and when you don't have enough thyroid hormone, then all organs and tissues suffer and this can be felt by some as this vague diffuse pain that seems to creep into everything. All I know is I don't feel right.

Yes, I am tuned in to things and feel every little thing that goes on, every ache, every pain, every twinge. I hold my hands up to that. Maybe I notice things more now that I am aware there is something wrong with me but anxiety cannot be causing all this as I have had anxiety for decades. I've never been the sort of person to worry about their health. Now, I worry all the time because there is a lot going on that I don't understand and I have not had any answers all year which means I am left with it.

All my weird symptoms have only come on since my diagnosis. I can honestly say that I felt better before they found this. My diagnosis did noting to relieve my symptoms. It just gave me new ones to deal with as well.

Really hope we can both find some relief soon. I have had enough of the weird looks now and the shrugged shoulders from the GP's. I'm just going to look after myself and take the advice that I get on here as it has done far more for me than any GP. xx

[thyroidmom84 in reply to Saltwater]

I literally could have written everything that you said. I also didn’t stress much about my health and had never been to many doctors and this year alone I think I had more than 30 appointments with different specialists and my GP. It is taking a toll on my personal life as well. If you would like to DM me, I would love to start up a friendship with someone who knows what I am going through.