Is this normal?

[Friendsneed]

Does anyone else ever feel so anxious that they have a drink or two to just calm them down? I do this but then I feel guilty the next day like I am an alcoholic? I never have more than a few drinks except for special occasions but it almost makes me feel worse the next day because I feel like a bad mom/wife, etc.

[fauxartist]

First of all....you either are, or you are not an alcoholic. It's the same with depression. Both are a disease, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Alcoholism is a detailed combination of genetic markers and environmental precursors all mixed together. When your drinking to mask the feelings of depression, your self medicating....and it's an oxymoron, because alcohol is a depressant. There is so much shame and blame associated with Alcoholism and drug addiction, that I find more people would rather be labelled depressed than think they were an alcoholic. Until we stop shaming and letting social stigma dictate to us what is 'normal'....many here will remain in the dark about being 'Dual Diagnosed'. And continue to self medicate and keep the 'secret' so as to not have another label attached. Just because you self medicate does not make you an alcoholic.

Most alcoholics will spend a very long time in denial of their problem. This is especially common in the functional alcoholic who fails to recognize their alcohol abuse as a problem or addiction, because they’re holding down a job, keeping their family together, and meeting their social obligations. Society has long perpetuated the idea that alcoholics must fit some sort of stereotype in which they eventually hit the infamous rock bottom — losing everything that ever meant anything to them. The functional alcoholic often uses this stereotype to their advantage and hides behind it as an excuse to keep drinking.

I am 'Dual Diagnosed', I am open about it because no one seems to want to be, for fear of social stigma. I don't care, it's my life and who I am. I am not ashamed of something that was not my fault any more than I am ashamed of being illegitimate or having depression, and certainly not a choice I would make for myself, my only choice is not to drink because I can't. I am not one of those people who thinks everyone who has a beer or glass of wine is an alcoholic either, that's a personal decision for everyone to evaluate on their own, and none of my business.

[Friendsneed in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you...that helps a lot actually.

[fauxartist in reply to Friendsneed]

I'm glad.....when I simplify my life, I am able to deal with one thing at a time then, it just makes things easier for me because life can be so overwhelming sometimes.

[Friendsneed in reply to fauxartist]

I agree, I think I do get overwhelmed and it's just like a snowball effect. I need to just chill out and remember how lucky I am.

[fauxartist in reply to Friendsneed]

you can't help what you feel when you suffer from anxiety, it's a disease which is no different than if you had heart disease....you find ways to treat it. With the cost of therapy and medication, it's out of the reach of many people who suffer from this. The only thing most can do is get informed. Read everything you can on different websites. Sharing here is a great way to take some of the power out of it, also reading others posts and comments can be very helpful. Glad your here sharing.

[Friendsneed in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you! I am going to see my doctor...I have talked to her about it before but at the time she didn't feel like I needed to be on anything. LAtely it has been getting a little worse because of some new stresses I'm dealing with. I just hope I can get some relief on those really hard days.

[SuZQ154 in reply to fauxartist]

Yes, sometimes I like to have a glass of wine to unwind. Usually, that is fine. However, when I find myself wanting more than one, or wanting to drink by myself, I usually say, "HALT". I ask myself, "Are you H-Hungry? Are you A-Angry? Are you L-Lonely? Are you T-Tired?" Depending on my answer, I will usually so something OTHER than drink. Sometimes, I eat; sometimes, I call a friend to vent or exercise or pray; sometimes, I go out and see family and friends; sometimes, I take a nap or go to bed. Whatever I am feeling I try to address it. The FIRST step is calming my thoughts so I can really pinpoint what is making me anxious or want a glass of wine. Can you relate to this? Hope this helps. Praying for you today.

[hypercat54]

This is totally normal and something many people do especially with life so stressful nowadays. Why should you be a bad wife or mum coz you have a couple of drinks from time to time? You are a human being not a computer to be programmed. It sounds to me like you are focusing your anxiety on this and you need to deal with the source. Faux has given you some good advice there. x