It is hard to put into words all that you put me through. This letter is, I know, another vain attempt to master the chaos within me. But trying is always a better option than quitting, I suppose.
Sometimes I wish you could go through the pain and struggle you put me through, but really I know there’s no way I’d want another soul to go through it.
I’ve held onto this pain for so many years because I genuinely believed that some day it would stop. I always believed you were something more than you appear to be. But you continued taking advantage of my innocence until eventually, you destroyed it completely.
You thought you were powerful because you played an attacker? You thought I was weak because I played a victim? The truth is, your victim is always superior to you in every way.
I would be lying if I told you I never thought about revenge. My mind wandered but my demons never got the better of me. I knew that if I were to sink to your level, you and I would be no different. One thing I’ve known for sure for all these years is that I never want to become a reflection of you.
(Something I saved on my phone, I never sent it, I saved it for months and finally thought I needed to share)
Struggling to find any positives
I think i have a phobia of my mom 
A letter to my thoughts, my anxiety and my depression 
More About My Intrusive Thoughts
