Terrified

[Giraffe2]

I struggle with anxiety. In a nutshell, I live in on/going fear something is going to happen to one of my kids. More specifically, I obsess about them dying in a school shooting.

Today, there was tragically another school shooting. And then on top of that, my son came hone with a song he wrote in music class and the repeating line is “what would you do without me”. He’s six.

So now I’m freaking out and don’t want him to go to school tmw bc I’m taking that as a sign of some sort. I’m sorry if I seem crazy, but these are really the thoughts I deal with all the time. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks in advance.

[Thestral661]

Hi,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this stressful time. I think it’s important to remember that all parents have natural concern for their children’s safety and there’s nothing wrong with you wanting to protect them.

Personally I think you need to remember that you can not control everything and make every moment of their life completely “safe” and without any risk at all. There are risks to practically any part of a persons day; if you want to break it down that far.. But you need to remember that a lot of things that are shown on the news are unfortunately very and purposefully fearmongering.

I’m not saying what’s happened isn’t true and obviously awful. But this is a fear that you do need to try to bring under ‘control’.

You are in NO way ‘crazy’ you sound like a loving and devoted mother so please do not label yourself a such PLEASE don’t.

Perhaps you can raise your concerns to the school, and enquire about their safety procedures; and make a list if that helps so you can get the answers to any niggling questions you may forget in the moment!.

Ensure you have all their direct contact details and ensure that all your contact info is correct on their end.

In regards to how sickening and how the anxiety makes you feel, I myself suffer from extreme anxiety and sometimes it feels like I’m trapped in a body that’s not my own and the way you physically and mentally react to anxiety is SO horrible and draining.

So, I think you need to work on ways that will help YOU to help yourself manage it. It’s not easy, and sometimes coping mechanisms don’t always work, but you need to be proactive in finding out what does.

Writing it down, letting those closest to you know so they can potentially help you, making small changes to your lifestyle etc.

I actually downloaded an app (of all things) that’s actually for self harming to help you get through the urge or after you’ve done it.. and I’m the most anti app/technology person but it’s actually helped me through some very dark times.

Not just with the urge to hurt myself but with my anxiety too. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s been a useful tool and I’ve been able to keep a log of triggers, what’s specific suggested ways of coping have helped, what haven’t, what sets me off etc and you can really build a picture of what’s going on in your own head. And it gives so many ideas and ways for you to get through it and rein in the overwhelming ness of it all.

Perhaps you should start a diary and do the same, or download something similar?

It may surprise you - what you learn about yourself and then in turn you can work out the best way of dealing with this as you must feel exhausted getting into such an emotional state about this and that’s really not fair on yourself or your family.

I don’t know if you’re on any kind of medication or have been officially diagnosed by your GP but potentially there are some anxiety medications which could help.

Not to be relied upon as a cure, but could be another support mechanism while you try work through things.

I’m currently on Mirtazapine which I do believe is helping to an extent but don’t want to rely on it long term.

But perhaps a visit to the GP could be beneficial for you to discuss options at the very least..

Also seeing a therapist could be a potentially beneficial option for you. Again I see one myself and would definitely recommend giving that some thought.

Apologies for the long reply x😌

[Mrspjsmom]

School shootings happen far too often. I worried when my children were younger too. But one day I came to the realization there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I also believe that a higher power decides when it's our time to die. I know it's hard but your worries about this may be scaring your children. I hope with all my heart you never such such a devastating loss. Hope that helps a bit.

[Dolphin14]

Sadly mass shootings are increasing and no place is safe. You could be in a movie theater with your family and it could happen.

My daughter is a teacher. When she first started her career I was a wreck. I wanted her to wear a bullet proof vest... no lie.

Kids are now growing up with safety drills as a norm. My granddaughter is 9. When she talks about a drill I tell her it's always good to practice things in case of an emergency.

What I don't do is watch the tv. Our anxiety increases as it is played over and over again by the media. We need to stay informed but not have the constant exposure.

It's hard. The world is crazy. We've all learned anything can happen anywhere.

Mayb if you talk to your kids about the drills they do. Hearing it from them in their matter of fact way may settle your nerves a bit. Safety protocols have changed over the years.