So Alone

[JSA18]

My depression has come back real strong after a breakup. All the old thoughts and feelings are back and I don't have feel like I can go on. I don't know what to do. I don't have any family, and not many friends. I am so alone

[Hidden]

Is this your first post ? Welcome. Lack of human contact is epidemic you’re not alone in that. You have to remember that your worth is not attached to your x. May I suggest reading up on Buddhist quotes online ? I’m not Buddhist but they’re very helpful. I know people say join support groups. If you can sharing yourself is good to see others hurt too. And go to coffee shops same ones regular basis to get a sense of belonging. I’m getting flabby I was athletic I have stomach issues lots other things I used to be full of life. Life can beat you up. It’s about what matters to you love is important so be it and seek it. And less is more for now.

[JSA18 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Yes, this is my first post. I was doing so well managing my anxiety and depression but this has taken a major toll on my mental health. I saw my therapist today and sadly she was of no help. I've been seeing g her for nearly three years, but lately I feel that she isn't giving me what I need. I'm not sure why.

I do love Buddhist quotes. I will do that. Thank you

[Hidden in reply to JSA18]

I’ve had that with therapists. Sometimes you need to move on from them. Find another. Or group therapy. I find the best therapy is where they have you have homework and map out plans holding you accountable if it’s just talk and you’ve been in a rut a long time talking doesn’t help & get more depressed when you need more healthy participation in your actual life motivating things friends stuff you like. Reinventing ourselves. Dealing talking helps for some things but really .. if it’s long on going you need pushes and empathy at the same time.

[JSA18 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I do need pushes and empathy at the same time.

[shel1020 in reply to JSA18]

Hi...my therapist too seems to have totally changed and gone off the rails. I feel beat up by her and never better. She has become defensive, detached and just almost abusive in things she says after 3 years. I am devastated as I have never trusted one like her. I don't know that I can again if it means this kind of pain. Please know you are not alone.

[Hidden]

I am sorry you are going through this. I understand that you feel like you're alone. I do, too. I am on breakup No. 2 of 2019. The first one was after a 2.5 year dating relationship and I had a lot of problems doing daily activities and was just looking over some of the work I did during the hardest week (I did not believe, before then, that emotions and psychological issues could make one unable to walk a few steps) and see simple mistakes. Oh well I say now.. they will get fixed if and when they need to. I wish there was an easy way to grieve and that it was always quick. Unfortunately some experiences shake us to the core and I have tried to unpack those and figure out why they affect me so much. I don't yet have the answers. I am assuming, though maybe wrongly, that the breakup is not what you want--do know that feeling rejection has a more lasting effect (studies show, apparently) than physical injury. Keep writing about it, sometimes that helps. I would say lean on your friends, though I did try that during the first breakup and was told, "am I talking to someone" (yes, I thought I was talking to my friends) or it was too much for them. Find new friends and try to talk about things that you enjoy (although I definitely realize at this point, you may not find that many things enjoyable). Eat fresh fruit and vegetables and take a few walks. Get outside is my best advice. Things will change if you get up, out, and do.

[JSA18 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. I'm also on breakup number 2 of 2019. I feel your pain

[Hidden in reply to JSA18]

I hope your week is improving! What have you been doing to occupy your time?

[JSA18 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I hope you're having a good week! I contacted a friend who I haven't seen in a few months and we met up for a bit. I've also just been trying to get errands done which has actually taken up some time too. I'm running out of things to do though

[Hidden in reply to JSA18]

Read a good book, get started on a good tv show, or docuseries, take a a nice bath, bake some cookies, plan and execute a good 3-4 course meal for yourself (that generally takes some time), sign up to volunteer (although people say plenty of places are looking for volunteers--this will generally eat up a lot of time too). Don't know where you are but see if the group November Project meets up in your city and meet and do some exercise. get an adult coloring book, a puzzle (try one that's all different shades of ONE color...lol), Meet ups still exist and you can go to different ones of those. There are plenty of things to do. Find things in your place to donate or get rid of... (one of my favorite past times though I'm running out of things to toss!!!).

Take some time and think too... about getting through yesterday--often, for me anyway, that's an accomplishment in and of itself.

Take care of yourself.

[SuZQ154]

Your pain is understandable! Breakups make us feel insecure and unloved, and for me, they take me a long time to get over. There is HOPE!

Have you thought about seeking out a church or Bible study? During my last break-up, some one gave me the advice to have a love affair with myself. I started with that and it evolved into a love affair with God. During that time, I surrendered to Christ, and my life began to be transformed.

Being all right "alone" without a partner took me a long time and many days of crying, being angry, trying to understand "why", but ultimately, it started me on my spiritual journey with God. For that, I am so thankful! There is HOPE!!

[JSA18]

I'm just so sad because he suddenly just distanced himself and needs time to reflect. It happened overnight! I don't even know what's going on so I'm giving him space. I wish he would just talk to me!!! I"m all about communication and talking through things.

[Elliott_Woods]

I am so very sorry 💙 but, you are not completely alone... We are here for you! So don't get forget that. I know how it feels to have nothing and no one, but the support of one stranger has helped me through some very rough times. It's not easy going through the emotions and feelings of a breakup. Just know that this feeling will pass and you will meet an amazing match for you one day 😊

[JSA18 in reply to Elliott_Woods]

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I just feel so alone. My birthday is in two weeks and I'm only getting older and still have no one. Life can be tough sometimes.

[Elliott_Woods in reply to JSA18]

Life is tough, that's for sure, but you'll get through the bad times. You will find happiness 💜

[sunandbutterfly]

So sorry to hear about what you are going through and the tough year that you have had in the relationship department. Know that you are not alone. It your therapist is not working out, make sure that you communicate that. As others have said, it may be time for a change. I am glad you were meeting up with a friend. Hopefully you will find support here as well.

Maybe some of these resources would be helpful for you?

list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-u...

[JSA18 in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Thank you. I spoke to another therapist on the phone yesterday and booked an appointment with her in two weeks. When I see my therapist next week I will talk to her about this too. Thanks for the resources.

[sunandbutterfly in reply to JSA18]

I am so glad that you are able to schedule with another therapist. Hope this week is looking a little bit better for you.