Co-dependency

[Emotionallyunsettled]

I have Absolutley no friends. My children are trying to live their own lives. I am extremely co-dependent. I have done research on the internet and it tells me what I need to do but I can not find any information on how to change my emotions to change my behaviors to change my life. I have Absolutley no idea what to do or how to do it. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[CatIsMyCopilot]

Self-help resources can be great sometimes, but other times they can be overwhelming and confusing. Have you considered seeing a therapist or counsellor? Or perhaps looked into support groups for co-dependency? Don't feel like you have to handle this all on your own.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I went through Empty Nest Syndrome hard. This is not co-dependent. If you treat it that way you won’t get over this hill. If you enjoyed being a mum as I did we take a break from our own interests. Now what you do is live a little in the past, mourn that time that no longer exists, and join a book club or volunteer or anything. You won’t stick with this first thing. You’ll meet people and find out what and who you like. It’s just Step 1. I went to group therapy on mourning my babies so I could enjoy them as adults and let go. I was lost. 10 years later I have 8 grandkids but things I want to do! No one helped me. I was lost. I cried a lot. My kids were kind and let me call when I was lonely. They made me put the baby pictures away until I grew up and cut the cord.

You can do this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I promise since you raised them it gets better.

Doaty

[Tealribbon]

That empty Nest thing is hard!! I remember the first time I went to the grocery store and realized I could buy any type of cereal that I wanted. It was a weird realization. Wouldn't it be great if we could just turn on and off our preferred emotion of the moment? Try One day, one step at a time. And the biggy is don't fuss at yourself for hurting. You are new at this empty nest thing. We don't get a chance to practice Something that helped me was going back to college. I had to study so hard I didn't have time or the energy to do anything else. Volunteering at a hospital/daycare/nursery/church can help by giving us a chance to love on the little ones. It's a win win situation for everyone, parents get a break, our hearts are filled and the little ones are shown unconditional regard. Just ideas, I know this isn't easy. Keep showing up here so you can get support from all the good folks

[Gentlespirit12345]

Start slowly with asking yourself why u feel this way . is it valid and healthy? Is your behavior understandable considering the situation. Have u tried hobbies or social situations to interact? Is it social anxiety or are u attracting toxic people? Write down your qualities and attributes. Do u see these as being healthy? How is your spirit or aura. Does this help. I hope so. Be patient and kind to yourself

[SuZQ154]

So sorry. I get it! My daughter and I had a codependent relationship and it HAS CHANGED! It took a long time, perseverance, heartache, and faith.

You might want to check out this book. bit.ly/2lPM4xj It sounds like it might have some helpful advise for your situation. Please keep posting and know there is HOPE!